An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 66, March 6, 2012
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“Love is all there is”, or so the cliché says. The statement does in fact ring true, but then if Love is all there is, then any statement whatsoever about Love will ring true, since Love is the original truth from which all other truths come. Encoded in our hearts and psyches we hold the very imprint of Love, or the potentiality of loving and being loved, passed on from the universe. Our original potential Love encoding is perfect, and it contains all that has come before us for billions of years, creationally or evolutionarily or both.
The tangible and actual truth of Love for all humans is the original truth of our births and our childhoods, and the Love which we received or didn’t receive from our parents. Overlaid upon the original encoding we have the imprint of how the actuality of Love played out in our particular lives during our births and early childhoods. When we are in the uterus, and during our births, our hearts and psyches compare and contrast the encoding of Love’s perfection with the actual experience of coming into life, and the first seconds and minutes and hours, in order of precedence and impact, will determine our whole lives.
When Love is aligned in a baby human, this means that the inherited ideal of encoded perfect Love in the heart and psyche of the baby matches the first experiences of encoded Love life. The ideal of perfect Love matches the Love of perfect Mother and perfect Father, and perfect environment. When this occurs the heart and psyche of the baby are aligned as Love, or “in Love”. The first experiences of being “in Love” occur to a human baby in the womb, and during and as a result of birth and the first moments after birth. The prototype events of uterine life, birth, and the first seconds and minutes of life outside and with mother are the cardinal imprints of life and Love which will direct Love for our entire lives.
When there is trauma in utero, and during birth, and when the first seconds and minutes of life are shocking and harrowing, the encoded potentiality of Love inherited from the universe becomes misaligned with actual experience, and the human baby is gravely damaged. When life begins as terror and hopelessness and helplessness due to trauma and deprivation in utero and during birth, the heart and the psyche of the newborn baby imprint pain and malcontent as the first living experiences. These uterine and birth traumas will be the predecessors of a life of pain and malcontent, and of Love falling short of it’s perfect potential.
Every millisecond of misalignment of Love’s perfect potentiality, registered as trauma and deprivation, is carefully registered in the psyche of every human being. Every person knows in their deep unconscious psyche when Love was experienced as trauma, and every human being knows the Love that was needed instead. The human heart and psyche are perfectly evolved to withstand horrific disappointment and pain since the womb, and the heart and psyche harbor and hide and repress these catastrophic experiences in order to survive. We grow up as children and youths into adulthood harboring trauma and deprivation that is virtually and literally unfeelable and unknowable, or so we believe. These pains are registered in our hearts and psyches and wounds and injuries, and the fear of these events coming conscious will direct and determine our very lives, minute by minute.
In every human being there are repressed memories of the catastrophic traumas of our uterine life and birth and early childhood, and we feel that these memories are so deadly and toxic, that we must keep them repressed and unconscious in order to survive, just as we did as children. Ironically, the wounds and injuries of our hearts and psyches are no less wounds than broken bones or torn flesh, and our hearts and psyches never cease to attempt to repair and bring conscious these traumas for repair. How tragic the state that we all live in. Tragic and unfortunate things happened to us all as children at the hands of our parents and caretakers, so traumatic, that we feel as if we will die if we remember them. Yet these things, though forgotten and unbeknownst to us, direct our very lives. Yet these things are constantly trying to come conscious so that we can heal ourselves. Yet we do anything and everything in our power to prevent these things from coming conscious.
We are tragically at odds with our very selves, fearing pains that we don’t remember, manipulated by traumas that we are not conscious about, trying to heal ourselves by bringing conscious things that we then constantly avoid and run from. We run from ourselves as we are constantly running to be happy. “Love is all there is”, or so the cliché goes. And all that Love is within us, either beautifully aligned with the universe’s encoded perfect potential Love, or sadly and horrifically misaligned at the hand of our own very traumatized parents and caregivers.
To be in Love with another, we must first be in Love with ourselves, and we cannot be in Love with ourselves when our parents were not in Love with us. To give and receive Love in a healthy way, we must have had Love given to us a healthy way. Before we can embrace our world and give and receive Love in a healthy way, we must first trust our own hearts and psyches to heal the Love that we received as misaligned. Our faulty lives of misaligned Love are inheritances from our faulty parents who did not Love us the way we and the universe intended, and we cannot Love others or receive healthy Love unless we first heal our own Love injuries and wounds. Now that we are grown, the traumas and deprivations of our hearts and psyches can be safely grieved and mourned, and in bringing conscious our deep wounds, we can live freely from our traumatic programming.
Living forward into Loving and happiness means living backwards into realizing and facing what happened to us. When we grieve and mourn all the things that we are so sad and angry and disappointed about, we live freely for the first time. All we have to do is remember what happened to us, and yet no child should ever have to face their suffering twice. The truth is that we have not yet faced our pain the first time, and that is why we are suffering. When we face our pain we Love again the way the universe intended for us, and the way we always hoped for. “Love is all there is”, should be the happy and perfect Love of a child, who loves happily like a child. We all long for such Love.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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