Musings From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
108 April 17, 2012
Will
Swinging Save Or Destroy A Marriage?
Part
6
The
Truthful And Honest Swinger Vow
“Honey I love you and trust
you and respect you and value you with all my heart. If we embark on Swinging
(or now that we have), we both will be betraying our vows to each other and in
effect will have lied to each other. I am so sorry about that. As it turns out we both realize that we are
sexual deviants with issues of promiscuity and perversion in our dark, sexual
ideas, and I have now come to the conclusion that transparency and honesty are
part of trust and Love. I want to open up our relationship to sexual freedom of
expression in what people normally keep denied and repressed and shameful and
dirty, and I want to use you and have you use me for our mutual kinky and nasty
and taboo pleasures just for shear crazy joy in keeping our relationship spicy
and hot and new and exciting and passionate and wild.
Eventually we can learn more
about ourselves and each other, and eventually we can strengthen our Love and
relationship by fearlessly confronting our sexual sicknesses and weaknesses and
hidden angers and rages and truths and agendas, and eventually we will Love
each other even more, and trust each other even more, and respect each other
even more, and value each other even more.
I know that this may cause us unprecedented pain, and that I may feel
like I have stopped loving you, and or stopped trusting you, and or stopped
respecting you, and or stopped valuing you, and I know and understand and am
prepared that you may feel the same about me. But if you will stick with me and
this risk and process I will promise to stick with you and this risk and
process, and I am confident that we can build our own real and true and eternal
love and trust and respect and value out of sticking our heads in the fire,
enjoying it, facing it and persevering through difficulties, and eventually
stop the craziness and live happily ever after.
I know that truthfully you
are innocent and will only do these sexual and slutty acts because you trust
me, and I will do the same sexual and slutty acts for you because I know that I
am trusted. I know that all these issues
have to do with my Mom and Dad ultimately, and that it has to do with your Mom
and Dad ultimately, and so I want to use you and have you use me to get off on
the sexiness of it for each other, but in the end let’s find out what happened
to us as children and try and heal it and ourselves and our Love. I don’t want
to do this forever, for I want to make Love with only you and have you make Love
with only me some day. For now I want to
fuck lots of sexy ladies and get off on it, and have you fuck lots of sexy guys
and we can both get off on it. I know it’s dark and perverted and deviant, and
I want us both to get off on it, and I promise to stay together no matter what
happens, and I want you to promise the same.
I want to say in advance
that I have a dominant and punishing and mean and angry and hateful and using
and degrading side, and also submissive and weak and victimized side, and I
want to play with both sides, and I know that you too have both sides, and I
want you to have the freedom and support to play with them, just like I want
the freedom and support to play with them. I don’t want these things denied and
repressed and hidden in both of us to burst out in infidelity or abuse, and I
don’t want to continue to pass these things onto our children. I want eventually for both of us to be
completely transparent, and perhaps even completely healed. I know that for
every gain there is a cost, and I am willing to jump into the sexual truth of
me and you, and I also swear to pay the price with you in repairing and
surviving “no matter what” with you. I solemnly swear to live out this process
and hope that you will to, through thick or thin, until death do us part”. The end.
Only with the truthful
Swingers vow can the couple dive into their true selves with confidence, and
not be inadvertently lying to each other and deceiving each other, or find out
later what a mistake they have made. Couples that are moved by these series of
essays to the point of restraint in their “alternative” sexual ideas are hereby
congratulated, for the pain that Swinging causes husbands and wives is
unprecedented. On the other hand these couples in restraint will also be
settling for less in their safety, for these sexual issues are inherent in all,
and in restraint they simply remain bubbling like lava below the surface of us
as volcanoes.
For those that have begun,
but feel an “oops”, you are in a precarious position for tremendous damage has
been done as a result of punishing each other and testing each other and
setting each other up, but without the volcanic eruption that leads to divorce
or healing. Quitting now without true
processing will freeze dry both pain and Love, and you will be in a worse
position than the abstainer, or the divorcee, or the fearless and perseverant
couple that can love above and beyond all personal and religious and cultural
and societal mores or expectations.
For those Swingers that
don’t agree with or deny the facts outlined in these essays, I recommend that
all these essays be reread after every “liberal and consensual and respectful”
party attended, and with every “fucking”. The human heart will eventually
reveal its truth, and the truth follows deep pain. Please be open and cautious
and sensitive with each other for what will inevitably emerge later.
For those incredibly crazy
and courageous “Swingers” that vow to persevere, it is a fact that you Love
each other, and the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding is “rock on baby”. If you lose Love for each other, or lose trust
in each other, or lose respect for each other, or lose value for each other,
this only means that your original Love, trust, respect, and value for each other
was faulty in the, or insecure, or neurotic, or dependent, or jealous, or
simply projected. Just rebuild it. Now is the time to prove your parents and
culture and society and the world wrong, and follow your hearts and rebuild
from scratch the real Love, which automatically contains deep trust and respect
and value, no matter what you do, or when, or why, or how, or with whom.
True Love is not dependent
on another, true Love is not jealous or insecure, true Love is not possessive
or fearing, and true Love is not about who we fuck or who fucks us. True Love can endure anything if a person’s
heart and motive and intent and outcome are TRUE. Swinging can test and prove and anneal and
temper and in the end build or destroy a marriage or relationship, and Swinging
as a course and journey and tool that eventually ends can reveal true Love.
Here is the POST SWINGING and HEALED EX SWINGER vow:
“I just love my girl and my girl just Loves me, no matter
what. Punto”.
(And we have had a lot of fun and tears in the process”)
Good sexy luck to all, no matter how you live it out.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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