An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 38 February 7, 2012
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I would say that being healthy is the third greatest gift we can benefit from in life. First of course is to be alive. I am so grateful to be alive. Being alive is a gift, and I appreciate my life spark and all my bodily functions that allow me to be living. The next greatest gift is to love and be loved. I would much rather love and be loved and struggle with health, then be healthy and be devoid of loving or being loved. Today I am definitely alive, and I am definitely loving and loved, so I’m doing very well indeed with the first greatest two gifts in life. I am grateful for my life and to love and be loved.
Now, the third of life’s greatest gifts, health, needs some attention today. I spent all day Saturday riding my crazy horse all around like some kind of cowboy, and now I’m paying for it. Of the supposedly 600 plus muscles in the human body, I’m sure that at least twice that many are sore, since I can barely walk. I definitely had one too many beers (or was it three?) last night, so even the brain mass between my ears is hurting today. I’m proud to not have had a cold or flu in more than 5 years, and I remember the last stretch was about 7, and then I ended up in the emergency ward, so I’m kinda nervous. I have plenty of other funky afflictions, but I hate when people announce to me all their medical terms for their suffering with a smile on their face, so I’ll spare myself and you any further embarrassment.
My heart and yours tells me and you that we are in fact perfect healthy specimens, and we could all be put on a pedestal in front of Nature and she would be proud. If we are not healthy, if we are suffering from any ailments, it is our own fault and responsibility. We are in fact our illnesses and ailments, and they are us. It surely is not old Mother Hubbard’s fault, or anything at all in her cupboard. We are perfectly evolved and adapted to be perfectly healthy, and if we are not, we are perfectly evolved and adapted to get healthy again. If this is so, why are we sick or suffering from any number of “things”? Our immune system is ideally perfected to maintain our health, and our environment is ideally suited to maintain our health.
If we are sick or suffering from ailments, then our immune system is impacted and struggling, and/or our environment is impacted or struggling. And it's virtually always both. No person in history has ever been sick or suffered ill health with a perfectly functioning immune system and in a perfect environment. The first question to ask ourselves is, “why am I sick, why am I suffering from ill health?” We are sick because we are invested in our sickness, and we are invested in our suffering. Our sickness or suffering is not an alien thing that invades us, and “it” is not making us sick or taking our health away. “We” are sick, and “we” are suffering, and we are invested in it. In order to not be sick or suffering “we” need to do some serious soul searching to find out when and where and why we invested in the ill health stock market of being sick and losing our health. We need to read the shareholders pamphlet very carefully of what are the benefits and needs in investing in sickness and ill health, and we need to decide to act upon our investment.
The largest impact upon our immune system is repressed emotional and psychological trauma and deprivation. The largest impact printed on our ill health shareholder certificate is unfulfilled needs that are unconscious. Even if we recognize our investment in being in ill health or impending dying, what a conundrum we find ourselves in to realize that our intent and motive and outcome are buried in unconscious forgetting deep in our unconscious. If we want to get healthy and well, or survive our investment in dying, we first must turn inwards and face ourselves and the life that led up to us investing in being in ill health and dying. The main weapon of our immune system is not antibodies or white blood cells, but grieving. Upon deep grieving of ourselves and lives, our need to be sick and die comes into consciousness. We cannot act to heal ourselves or our dying lives until we bring conscious our needs to be sick and suffer and die.
Once we realize our need to be sick and suffer and die, we need to de-invest in the self martyrdom and self flagellation of sickness and suffering and dying. “I hereby counteract my own need to suffer and be unhealthy, and I hereby choose to face my life of pain and sorrow and suffering, and heal. I choose to be healthy and live”. Once we have done this, we need to stop alienating ourselves and our sick and suffering parts. Our illness or invader is not the enemy, and not an alien, and not the part to be in fear of or fight. Our illness is us, or dis-ease is us, and our suffering and impending death is us. We need to bring ourselves back home to loving and appreciating and accepting ourselves in our entirety, not just the parts we like or choose. Invaders and defects are professionals at fighting us, and will in fact win when we deny why we invited them, and will win when we can’t help but fight our very selves. “I am grieving my need to be sick and suffer, and I love myself and my illness as me. I choose to win and live healthy with all of me”. This is something no illness or affliction can ever fight or win against. Love is all powerful, and honest and transparent self love is invincible. Even if our path is to not prevail, even if we continue to suffer and even die, our own transparency to self honesty and self love will keep us living, and we may die actually finally living.
Once the process of self transparency through grieving and loving one’s illness as one’s self is welcomed and appreciated, our immune system becomes freed up to do its amazing job. There is no illness or affliction capable of winning against a fully grieved and conscious self with an intact and available immune system, in a person decided to live. This is the very material that miracles are born out of. We in fact are miracles, and we are more capable at surviving than we are at suffering or dying. The term for this resilience is the life-spark called Love.
Once we are honestly and truly and fully back on board to live, it is time to face our imperfect environment. The average age in villages around the pass in the Hunza valley between Pakistan and China is over 100 years old. Living at 18,000 ft elevation with pristine, clean air, pure water, almost purely vegetarian organic food, and averaging 5 miles a day of walking, even at 100 years old, allows for pristine health. Sick and suffering people should never live in cities, never eat any food processed in any way, never be around animals or other sick people, never drink anything but pure water, and exercise strenuously and routinely every day. Sick and suffering people should have all porcelains and metals removed from their mouths immediately, and no root canalled teeth. The mouth must be pristine clean, and all air and water and food put into the body should be pristine clean. Sick and suffering people should practice extreme and routine body cleansing inside and out, and fasting to purify the body of any impacts on the immune system. No chemicals of any kind should ever be used or touched, no cosmetics, no man made soaps or cleaners, and no petro anything. The living conditions of sick and suffering people must be pristine clean, never animals of any kind inside, never carpet or tapestries or furniture to harbor sickness to impact the immune system.
So we arrive at,” why am I sick and suffering and dying?” And, “how badly do I want to be healthy and well and live?” If the measures above seem too black and white, to ambiguous, to difficult, too extreme, we find ourselves back at that very, very long oak boardroom table with everyone else, invested in their sickness and suffering and death, all defending the need not to know or care or try or survive, more than the will to be healthy and live.
In my case I suffer at my own investment. I am sore for not exercising and being in shape, I have a headache for drinking too much beer last night. I have ailments because I self martyr and I unconsciously and perversely like the attention I get. I enjoy punishing myself and others unconsciously. I eat too much junk, drink impure air, use too many chemicals. I am the victim of my own lack of self knowledge and self healing, and the victim of my own carelessness in my poor lifestyle. I am too lazy, too arrogant, to defiant, and too scared of my own unconscious needs, so I am sick and I suffer, that is until I get too sick or suffer too much, then I might just change just a little. I am me and me is my sickness and suffering. I like it. I own it. And like a fool, I, like most people, brag about it. That is until tonight when I find out that I am dying.
Maybe I’ll just keep that ticket to therapist in the Hunza valley nearby just in case. In the meantime I’d sure like to have a beer and race around on my crazy horse like an idiot again. Ain’t life grand?
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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