An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 7, January 7, 2012
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“Amazing New Discovery!” , says a newspaper, “Scientists Link Hate, Violence And War To Unhappiness!” I would imagine that unhappiness must now have some credibility since it has been studied and linked. On page one of a standard psychology text book, “… unhappiness is a result of psychological and emotional dis-ease.” I would imagine that psychological and emotional dis-ease now have some credibility since they have made it to the first page of a text book. Now a prominent mathematician: Emotional plus psychological dis-ease, divided by the world's population, over the world's problems. equals hate violence and war. I can just imagine the M.D’s getting their prescription pads ready to medicate the world's dis-ease, and the psychologists patting off their sofas, getting ready for the next many 50 minutes sessions to treat the world's dis-ease. I don’t have to imagine the armies of the world currently treating the result of the failure of all of us to be treated.
I now would like to imagine the world's greatest expressers and healers getting ready to save the world, I imagine a room full of newborns getting right into THE primordial healing seminar: Crying 101.
Of all the great world art forms, things like dance and painting, music and theater, crying must be not only the most ancient, but also the rarest of the great arts. When we were babies we were masters, and when we grew up big and supposedly strong, we progressively lost our innate talent and gift of the most crucial art form of all: crying. Few of us masters-of-the-world adults understand or appreciate this virtually lost ancient art form. As a matter of practice we routinely avoid and abstain from routine and artful crying. I try to imagine the idea of being shy or embarrassed or insecure about crying, or even ashamed or afraid of crying. I then imagine the feeling of pending armageddon for the world’s babies as they are briefed that some day when they are all grown up they will not be able to cry, they will forget how to cry, they will be shy and embarrassed to cry, and they will be ashamed and afraid to cry. I imagine the world's babies getting ready for ritual suicide as the concept is too sad and terrifying to imagine. Not be able or want to cry!? For a baby or child it is the end. For us?, we don’t even remember when or why we stopped.
Crying is supposed to be like breathing and sleeping, crying is supposed to be like keeping your heart bumpety-bumping and going pee, crying is supposed to be like laughing and, well…. crying. So what is this crying all about anyway? Big boys don’t cry, little girls cry a lot, so what? I can just see the sea of world babies heading this way all diaper clad to give us a most basic refresher course. And this is what they would tell us. This is the very translation of waa-waa.
Pain in psyche or heart or body = ouch. Ouch requires expression and healing. Crying = expression and healing. If ouch comes in, ouch must come out. If ouch goes in and ouch comes back out, happy baby, happy big person, happy world. If ouch comes in but can't be expressed or healed, scary baby, scary big person, and scary world.
Here is the adult version in my own personal and often teary eyed opinion: all human afflictions of all kinds, all illness, all unhappiness, all human malaise and their negative expressions of hate, violence, crime, and war, are caused by psychological and emotional trauma and deprivation. All ouches in our world are a result of ouches that we hold within us and that were perpetrated upon us. I would really doubt that anyone would have a counter argument to the above statement, but if and when you or they do, all I can imagine feeling is “ouch.”
Now this is the one where we can all remember how to doubt or differ or disagree, yet every baby will heartfully announce to us: all afflictions of all kinds can be healed by crying and grieving, all unhappiness can be healed by crying and grieving, all human malaise and their negative expressions of hate, violence, crime, and war can be healed and prevented by crying and grieving, all psychological and emotional dis-ease can be healed by crying and grieving. All babies know and believe that all healing can come from crying and grieving, and I agree with them, for babies are the world's greatest expressers and healers with crying.
Our bodies are perfect adaptations of life, they are absolute cutting edge living machines driven by the love spark towards ever improving perfection. Just imagine the miracle marvel that we are, but without healing. Imagine every virus or cut or mishap causing your and my and everyone’s death. Healing is therefore the most miraculous invention of life, regenerating life forms that can carry along their own mechanical garage and body shop. What a great car that would be to have! The amazing part is that our bodies remember what to do. We badly cut the tip of our finger and our finger grows exactly back the same tip of finger. I would be shocked if I cut my finger badly and my big toe grew back there, let alone my ear lobe or (heaven forbid), my penis.
When we grow up, quite literally from conception to birth and the first few hours (the most important part), unfortunate things happen to us, and as life goes on, these unfortunate things continue to happen. These unfortunate things in heart speak are traumas and deprivations, either traumatic actions, or the lack of loving ones. These psychological and emotional disappointments and catastrophes are events that happen to our heart, and from my first essay I mean they are being and knowing and feeling events, not thinking or mind events. So if every part of our body heals and regenerates anew, how exactly does one heal and regenerate a traumatized or deprived heart? When we are hurt psychologically our heart is ouched badly, when we are hurt emotionally our heart is ouched badly, and our heart desires to be healed, as a matter of fact our heart biologically demands no less than our finger does when it is cut.
Now I ask the babies again giving the crying 101 class, I say: “ever since before I was born my heart has been broken, ignored, ridiculed, beaten, and disappointed in 1001 ways. How can I let my heart heal?” I promise you a cacophony of replies, and all universal waa-waas. And that reminds of a perfect example of how tragically we ridicule each other with that expression waa-waa.
The truth is that every baby knows that the only way to heal a heart damaged by psychological and emotional trauma and deprivation, which all of us suffer from, is by crying and grieving. Hearts don’t heal from thinking, or believing, or acting, or reading, or affirmations, or our myriad attempts at doing anything to keep from feeling bad. Our hearts only heal by feeling bad that leads to crying and grieving. Every millisecond of our existence since conception right through to this moment now is registered in our bodies, and every miniscule transgression of disappointment, of trauma and deprivation, is memorized in our hearts. Our heart calls out to us without recess and without end for healing, like a giant bloody cut finger trying to repair.
Only a baby would come up with the idea that when you feel mad or bad enough to nuke your spouse or neighbor or enemy that you might feel angry and hurt and sad about many disappointments in your life, and lie down with a loved one and your old trusted teddy from your childhood and have a very deep and cathartic cry. Only a baby would hug you tight as your tears wash away a thousand sad little deaths that have happened to you, and only a baby would rise up 3 minutes later ready to laugh and play and eat peanut butter and sing songs.
So here is our letter that we write together when we graduate from Crying 101: “Dear world leaders, criminals, friends, and enemies: After we get done crying together, do you want to play first or eat our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches first?”
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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