An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 73, March 13, 2012
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Talking about homosexuality is always a bomb. As a matter of fact everything about homosexuality is a bomb. It’s interesting how much homosexuals like to talk about their homosexuality, and it’s amazing how much heterosexuals like to talk about homosexuality. A lot of energy and emotion is exhausted regarding the idea of morality and acceptability of homosexuality, and the idea of “natural” or “normal” is most often the core of the debate. Well, to set the record straight, or perhaps muddy the waters even further, here is an essay about homosexuality. Bombs away.
“Natural” is defined as occurring in nature, and no one can deny that homosexual males and females of the human persuasion, as well as many other species, are definitely occurring in nature. Punto, that one stops right there. As for “normal”, it is defined as being “the norm”, and homosexuality has been the norm in human sexuality and many other species for millions of years. Perhaps it is not your norm, but from cave man sex and love through the Greeks and Romans and beyond into absolutely every culture ancient and modern, it is in fact one of our many “norms” of human sexuality and love. Punto two. If you don’t like those two facts you’re about to admit that you have a problem, so any interest beyond this point is at the risk of your own latent homosexual defensiveness or cover up, so please sign out now.
The issue for homosexual females and males is not about justifying sexuality or love as normal or natural, but of the basic human need to feel accepted and loved as we are. No love needs to be justified or explained or accepted, for love in all forms is love, and any attempt at evangelism for or against any kind of love reveals a deeper “problem”. It is ironic how both camps for or against exacerbate the idea that there is or isn’t a problem by harping on the issue long enough to produce a problem even if there isn’t one.
I personally don’t like public demonstrations and announcements and declarations and defensiveness of any kind of sexuality. I personally believe that this should be kept sacredly private. But if you must know when you introduce yourself as homosexual, I personally like to have kinky sex and sloppy love with aliens in orbit only on green holidays, and yes I do it all. In other words mind your own personal beeswax and I’ll mind mine, and we will both maintain the dignity of sacred sexual privacy and discretion. If you as a homosexual are so hell bent on proving your homosexual dignity by publicizing your private and sacred sexuality to me unbeckoned, then you are questioning your own dignity and also are revealing an obvious personal problem. I suggest that you too sign out now.
So for the rest of us that are cool with all forms of sexuality and love, and who don’t have a bandwagon to ride, for or against, let’s explore the issues of the heart of homosexuality. All females and males of the human species are sexual and feel love through and express love through sexuality. Homosexuality is love in any and all forms, and the morality of any love is governed only by the heart of lover and lovee, and of sexualizer and sexualizee. Religion is entirely a construct of the human psyche, and the human psyche is inherently bisexual in its entirety. This means that all religion is bisexual and homosexual and heterosexual, for religion is a construct of our own psycho-emotio-dynamic. If this idea is too matter of fact to accept, there is little need to continue reading since an inherent belief system that is anti human psyche is more of a problem than any alternative sexuality or love.
Now that we are all cool, let’s see how we got to homosexuality. Males are males and females are females. There are males who are more effeminate than any female, and females who are more masculine than any male. Every human conception and embryo and fetus carries the codified personality and sexual potentiality of effeminacy or masculinity, and this is what we call the “nature” of us. Supposedly scientists have identified the very gene of homosexuality, now justifying something that no homosexual heart need justify if truly at peace in the heart with homosexuality. This scientific evidence is in fact bunk, hogwash, and bullshit. What is true is that many boys are more girly than girls, right down to sexuality, and many girls are more boy boy then boys, right down to sexuality, and the DNA reflect this. But this doesn’t imply that these girl like boys or boy like girls will ever be homosexual, what we have is a “natural” potentiality of a reality and sexuality that “could” cross the divide of opposite sex attraction and love, and become homosexual.
The 8 ball that defines the game is the “nurture” of womb life and birth and the first few seconds and minutes of life with mother and father, and early infancy and childhood. Every infant instantly downloads the entire psycho-emotio dynamic of both parents, including all unconscious and conscious levels of sexual health and sexual deviance. How Mommy and Daddy react to and treat Baby with a homosexual potentiality defines the game, and parents of homosexuals have extreme issues of sexual power imbalance and application, conscious, and mostly unconscious. Sex and sexuality, and sexual love in nature and its expression are about power, and who has the power and who doesn’t, and who wields the power and who doesn’t. Homosexual expression and love between lovers displays the most easily discernible extremes of dominance and submission in the world of sexual expression and love. All sexual behavior is a direct display of the unconsciously repressed primal dynamic of every person back to infancy and the parents, and the sexual behavior in homosexual expression reveals the extreme imbalance of power that was experienced in birth and infancy.
Women emote and express largely on the outside, on their shirt sleeve so to speak, and the balance of power between male and female in lesbianism is felt as obvious misandry and rage at the male to the point of the capsizing of sexuality to become female to female. And even once this occurs, one of the females in the relationship is expressed in dominance to the point of a female male, and the other in submission as the female female. Males emote and express largely on the inside, secretly so to speak, and the balance of power between male and female in gay relations is felt as not so obvious misogyny and rage at the female to the point of the capsizing of sexuality to become male to male. And even once this occurs, one male is expressed in submission to the point of a female male, and the other in dominance as the male male.
Where the most man hating heterosexual woman sets down the ball in the game of sexuality, the most man loving lesbian picks up the ball. Father has hurt her and enraged her to such an extreme, and mother has fallen so short of her status as woman to such an extreme, that the lesbian’s sexual boat capsized, and even so, most women with this nurture remain heterosexual. But when the “natural” potentiality of “boy boy” girl reaches this level of rage at the father and disappointment in the mother, the newborn infant and young child capsizes as lesbian. Homosexuality for the young lesbian girl begins as a survivalist defensive response to trauma, coupled with a huge penchant for masculinity, and the whole life and world of lesbianism becomes a reality. Lesbian women are the most profoundly sensitive and wounded females in the human tribe. Lesbian women hate men to such an extreme that they flee into same sex relations and love, almost certainly in the womb and during birth, and the first few hours of life. The vast majority of this process is so toxically threatening that it remains virtually completely unconscious. Any argument to the contrary would require full revelation of all unconscious imprinting back to the womb, which is completely repressed by defensive sexuality.
Where the most woman hating heterosexual man sets down the ball in the game of sexuality, the most woman loving gay man picks up the ball. Mother has hurt him and enraged him to such an extreme, and father has fallen so short of his status as man to such an extreme, that the gay man’s sexual boat capsized, and even so, most men with this nurture remain heterosexual. But when the “natural” potentiality of “girly boy” reaches this level of rage at the mother and disappointment in the father, the newborn infant and young child capsizes as gay. Homosexuality for the young gay boy begins as a survivalist defensive response to trauma, coupled with a huge penchant for femininity, and the whole life and world of the gay man becomes a reality. Gay men are the most profoundly sensitive and wounded men in the human tribe. Gay men hate women to such an extreme that they flee into same sex relations and love, almost certainly in the womb and during birth, and the first few hours of life. The vast majority of this process is so toxically threatening that it remains virtually completely unconscious. Any argument to the contrary would require full revelation of all unconscious imprinting back to the womb, which is completely repressed by defensive sexuality.
No ideal and lovingly supportive girly Mommy and ideal and lovingly supportive boy boy Daddy, with balanced sexual power relations between themselves and appropriate non sexualized relations with their infant ever produced a gay or lesbian child, no matter the penchant or potentiality for the girly boy or boy boy girl. All love is natural and normal, and acceptable as defined by lovers and lovees, and sexualizers and sexualizees. We all have a 50,000 amp master breaker in our heart-psyche that throws towards hetero or homo relations, and most of us are durable enough to withstand lightning from our warped parents that falls short of that breaker. Many among us have 25,000 amp master sexual breakers, and were born and raised with 100,000 volt warped parents, and we survive by loving in the best and only and most natural and normal way that we can, but sternly avoiding our pain with our opposite sex, and loving safely our same sex. And good for us. Just imagine true misandry and misogyny of our sensitive ones if that switch did not throw. We are all grateful for the Love that is shared homosexually, instead of in the rage of the decimation of Life.
The man says, “now that you inquire, yes I am gay, and proud of how I love. I am very sensitive and I had a very unique and trying time with my Mommy and Daddy, and this is what is natural and normal for me as a result of who I am and what happened to me”. The woman says, “as if you haven’t noticed, yes I am lesbian. I am very sensitive and I had a very unique and harrowing time with my Mommy and Daddy, and this is the Love that is natural and normal for me as a result of who I am and what happened to me”. Cool. Awesome. Love on everyone. Me, as a result of who I am and what happened to me, I am doing my best too. I have lots of problems, and they too are natural and normal. Mine are sacred and private, and I have respect for your sacred privacy too.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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