An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 75, March 15, 2012
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Ok, I am biased. I am against all schooling or teaching of children in any way, and for any reason. Children should be left to self regulate, and self determine, and self educate. Parents should guide only by example of their own living. You can lead any beast to the water, but you cannot make it drink. You can lead any child to your predetermined idea of teaching or schooling or education, but you cannot make them learn. Animals are raised and reared. Children are our equals and guests in our house, and all children know what they want and what they like, and what they want to do. All children already learn all the time in their own way. Teaching and schooling kill innate learning in children. Children should be left to play and be children. Teaching and schooling kill children and childhood.
Ok, I am biased. I never did like school, and I never did like being indoctrinated, and I never liked the arrogance of all my teachers and parents that professed to teach me anything. I never did like coercion, I never did like compulsive anything, and I never did like the unhealthy peer dynamic of my fellow disturbed or angry or spiritless or obedient children. I have never met any person who did not relate to my feelings of school in some way. “I don’t like school and I don’t want to go to school”, has been spoken by you the reader many times, and by all people everywhere, throughout history. And yet we kiss the whip that kissed us, just like it kissed our parents, and we send our children to school to be kissed by the whip, “for your own good”, like it was supposedly for our own good. It never did us any good to be forced to do anything ever, and now we keep kissing the whip by asking that our own children kiss the whip.
I have 4 children ages 10, 17, 19, and 25. None of my children have ever been to school, none of my children have ever been home schooled, none of my children have ever had any lessons of any kind. None of my children have ever had homework of any kind, and they have never had any chores. They have never had any control over their attitudes or manners or behavior or language or sexuality or their own personal lives or lifestyles. All 4 of my children are self regulated, meaning they decide everything for themselves and about themselves. They are auto-didactic, meaning self educated, and they do as they like in their own way day and night, 24/7, and have for their whole lives. All my children ever do is play, play, play, and play more.
My children did not ask to be born and be brought into my house, and so they are welcome little guests their whole lives. They are free children, and free spirits, and free souls, to live just as they like, any way they like, as long as they do not impinge on my freedom or the freedom of others. They have the freedom to do anything they like all the time, and the freedom to be anyone they like all the time, but they do not have the license to affect the freedom of others without repercussions. My children have grown up with no television in the house, no video games, and no computers. They spend their entire lives bored and thirsting for knowledge and adventure, and companionship, out of their own desire. What they are interested in, they devour like no academic ever imagined, and what they are not interested in the do not learn at all. Lucky for them.
My job as spirit tour guide to these 4 prodigies is to be on their side. When you are on the side of the child you approve of them just as they are, and trust them just as they are, and love them just as they are. This takes 10 times more effort and support than sending your children to school to be indoctrinated and baby sat by others, or sending your children to be indoctrinated and baby sat by the television, or baby sat and indoctrinated by video games, or baby sat or indoctrinated by the computer, or baby sat or indoctrinated by the band of peers also being baby sat and indoctrinated by school and television and video games and computers and other peers. My job is to love my children just as they are, and trust that they will make their own happy life loving their own children just as they are. My job is not to invest in the outcome of my children. They already have their own selves, their own interests and talents and passions and curiosities. My children already have their own lives even when they are born, and it is my responsibility to stay out of their way and off their backs so that they stay true to themselves.
My children learn by choice, and being still wildly selfish and passionate, they pay close attention to their parents and all life around them. They have never been indoctrinated or sermoned to by religion or politics or ideas of race, class, sex, or power. Their ideas are their own, and they have little respect or fear of authority or power, or the views of any other, unless they choose to. My 4 children may or may not follow my example of manners or behavior or morals or ethics or education, and I may not invest in any outcome except for wanting to make sure that they don’t die or suffer serious injury, and that they are happy. They are the first to speak out against their own parents as hypocrites or zealots or evangelists of any idea, and they resist any effort of our ideas of acculturation or socialization that does not honor or value them.
When they grow up they will be their own person, and own the result of their endeavors as children and youths. I hope to make sure that they are alive and happy, and that is everything. The results of being on the side of your child and trusting them to guide themselves are spectacular. They emerge far more educated, and hip, and savvy, respectful, and mannered, and acculturated, and passionate, and ambitious than any teaching or schooling could ever hope to produce. In effect their success depends entirely on how much they trust themselves, which depends entirely on how much you trust them. Their success depends on the example you set, and how you set the example. Since they receive your approval and love unconditionally, I as parent love them and the outcome of them no matter what happens. I don’t mind if my children grow up without education or manners or ethics or morals or ambition or production or obedience or respect or status or anything at all, as long as they are happy. I don’t “raise” or “rear” my children to be examples or manifestations or products or examples of “me” in any way. If you feel responsible for any of the above, for or with your children, then your children are not their own persons and do not have their own lives and are not trusted, they are simply products and uses and needs of you. Who really cares about how your kids turn out, especially how they make you look, as long as they are happy. Pray that they are total failures in every way in your eyes, but very, very happy, rather than your neurotic and miserable alcoholic and divorced lawyer or doctor child.
Today is a whole new day. Let’s ask the beautiful guests in our house what they want, and when, and why, and how, and where, and let’s take joy in making it possible for them. Let’s take joy in their joy and happiness, and not in our own with all of the false “have to’s” and “shoulds” and notions of teaching and education and responsibility that we were all brainwashed with. They will marvel us beyond our wildest hopes for them, for they will be their own selves and be happy about it and us. Wow. If they can’t prosper or succeed or get a job or produce or win or prevail or, or, or, or……so what, who cares, as long as they are happy. All we can do is keep quiet and let them have their idyllic childhood, while we prosper and succeed, get jobs and win and prevail, and, and, and…we will become their heroes and not their hypocrites, and they will be happy to emulate the quality parts of us, and be the first to denounce our contradictions and frailties, fearlessly.
Ok, I am biased. I wanted to have a happy and free childhood being myself, and have my parents on my side to trust me to be just who I am and become happy with any outcome. I didn’t get anything but become the brownie pin on their own selfish lapels, as if it was their own responsibility, or “for my own good” to make them proud of themselves through me. I was never trusted to be anything but their “charge” in need of “raising”, because they were never trusted to be anything but everyone else’s charge that got raised. My parents and teachers acted like they knew better than me, and they indoctrinated me into their way of being and their society. How tragic, since this society and my parents and teachers were and are full of discontent, loneliness and trauma and deprivation, unfulfilled needs, alcoholism and drug addiction and depression and divorce and broken homes and pride and resentment and suicide and unprecedented suffering. Not one person that taught or educated my life has ever been remotely “happy”, without any of the tragic states above, yet they all felt responsible to “teach” and “educate” me. This is a very bad pattern.
Ok, I am biased. Ironically, not one person ever trusted me or asked me what I knew or wanted or what I thought. I think we need to live our own lives and get off the backs and lives of children, and stop the arrogance to believe that we or anyone can teach or educate anyone, let alone children. Let us let them be free and happy and carefree in every way, and let us let them play and be children. Let us bask in the joy of having and living what we only dreamed of, a happy childhood, and let us be children again with them. We can visit our childhoods again through them, and they have so much to teach us of what we lost at the hand of arrogant teaching and education. Let us focus on happiness, now and in the future, and no other outcome. To do this we really need to care about our children and their happiness, and we will be amazed at how happy that makes us.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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