Musings From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
132 May 11, 2012
Women
Falling In Benchmark
Part
2
A woman and her sexuality is
egg-mind-heart, in that order, and then two bodies, not just one. A
woman is infinitely more complex and complicated than a man. Women have split
off their beautiful faces and voluptuous bodies and sexualities from their
hearts many millions of years ago as a need for defense from the abuse of power
and the misuse of her sexuality. A woman
uses one sexual body her as a welcome system to love her mate with, and uses
her other body as a hate and anger system to defend herself from all other
males, by her choice. She also uses her
defensive body against men when sex happens against her will, by splitting off
the act that is happening to her from her self and heart, just like she does by
her own free will when she is promiscuous. The giving of a woman’s body and sex and even
fertility to a man is not necessarily a gift of her Love at all, and it usually
is not as her heart is far more tentative than the offering of her body. She is progenitor, and the veritable goddess of
human Life, and after millions of years of subjugation as his prize and victim,
she cannot afford to have her self and heart directly connected to her body and
sexuality. He is merely humpy-dumpy, he humps her in mating, and then he dumps
the seed in, and off he goes, and there are many, many males after her sex.
Of course women cannot do without men to
procreate, but after a 3 minute quicky sex, she does not need him anymore, not
for heart or mind or body, once the fertilized egg is out of the way. Loving a
man is a choice for her, but for a man, loving a woman is a direct need, he
needs his Mommy as a little boy, and for him to have and maintain children, he
needs his Mommy as an adult. Men are lost without their Mommy and their wife,
while women are not lost without men.
A woman sees a man
biologically as a mate to mate with, and as a conscious, loving human, a woman
sees a man as a person to Love, that resonates with her conscious and
uncouscious memory and need for her Daddy, and the repeat of the imprint of how
she loved her Daddy and how he loved her, and how her Daddy laid with her
Mommy, just like for males with their Mommies. But the fundamental difference
is that a woman always measures and judges and assesses the ability of her male
to get her pregnant, and to support her and her babies, and protect her and her
babies. A woman always looks for the benchmark of a man, not depending solely
on her childhood imprint and needs, but in defense and protection of her egg. A
woman can love with her egg and body and mind and heart, as a continuum of her
self and the history of her self vis a vis her parents as procreative and
loving humans if she chooses to, just like a male. But she has the choice to
Love with just her egg and body and mind, and maintain her heart separate from
herself as a sexual and procreative creature.
A woman can appear to be in Love, to herself and to her “him”, but she
may actually simply be in “benchmark”. She
found her benchmark male, the best impregnator, the best provider, and the best
protector, the highest of all males according to her, and her egg becomes so
hot as to warm her heart, causing her to feel in Love. This is not the same Love that a male feels,
and perhaps actually not romantic Love, but procreative egg Love, something a
male does not feel, and something a male mistakes for his Mommy Love.
When a woman is single and
looking for a mate, and when she sees an attractive and sexy man, she is Kitty
in heat, and her egg is driving. She
also sees the modern and handsome recreation of Daddy, and she also seeks to
possess him based on how she experienced Daddy and Mommy as a newborn infant,
but her egg is still driving, and she is still measuring and judging and
assessing, and looking for her “benchmark” male that can impregnate her and
support and protect her better than any other male. The grade of man, which is his place in the
hierarchy, the type of man, which is her taste and preference, and the quality
of woman, which is her view and need of him based on her view and need of
herself, is not just determined by the grade and type and quality of Daddy and
how she related to him and her mother during infancy and childhood, but also
his benchmark ability to impregnate her and support and protect her and her
babies.
A woman can love a man as a
continuum of egg-body-mind-heart and as a continuum of little girl to woman,
but she is always benchmarking men to find the ultimate male based on her and
his level in the hierarchy, and his ability to impregnate her and support and
protect her and her babies. When a woman
is attached and married, she views other attractive and sexy men as a Kitty
who’s egg is searching for the ultimate male to impregnate her and support and
protect her and her babies, no different from the process of choosing her own
male, despite the fact that she already has a male. A woman cannot stop doing
this, it is part of her inheritance as a procreatress, and a survivor of a
billion years of having her chosen male killed by other males, and being takin
by the stronger male, and after a billion years of having her male stolen by
superior females. A woman only has one
egg per month, from age 10-14 to age 40-55, and her selection process is
critical to her and to all life. She is
designed to mate with as many males as possible when she can conceive, and to
make all the males believe that they are the father so that all males will
support and protect her and her babies. She
is not designed for conjugal or loving a male singly. Conjugal and monogamous
love, which is a billion years of mating with all the Toms, in the context of
time, happened only seconds ago, maybe 10,000 years ago or less. Conjugal and
lifelong love for women is brand new in time, and she still surveys all men to
find and keep the ultimate male that can impregnate her, and who can support and
protect her and her babies, and she always keeps her eye on all other males and
females all the time. For her and her babies’ best interest. She also surveys
all the men looking for the recreation of her Daddy, and for someone to love her
like Daddy did, better than the Daddy she is already attached to and married
to. But this is not necessarily heart Love to her, whether she is aware of it
or not, and this is determined by her egg-body-mind history that goes all the
way back to the beginning of time.
Women are fiercely
hierarchical with other females, and ferociously competitive with other
females. Male hierarchy is ladder based,
who is the top rung of the ladder, and then the lesser rungs on the ladder on
down, but always a ladder, and a male ladder, called a “pack”, is a hierarchy
of power-alliance-friendship. After the alpha male wins or takes the female or
females, the rest of the lower males simply take turns mating with her too.
Female hierarchy is survival of the best egg, and who has the best egg
inseminator and egg best supporter and best egg protector. Females are their
own independent ladders and share no rungs with other females. Females do not
have friendships in the male sense, but instead alliances of truce between
rivals with irreconcilable differences. When
a male walks into a room with many yummy females, it is mating season, and
there may or may not be a good Mommy there, and if he does not have what it
takes to woo or win his choice of female from the top male present, he simply
waits for his turn afterwards, or he settles for a lesser female.
When a female walks into a
room full of males, she instantly measures and assesses and judges the threat
to her, and possibilities for her, and seeks the leader of the pack within her
own quality and ability, and this is determined by her value and power vis a
vis other females. She will covet the
male that has the best possibility to impregnate her, and support and protect
her and her babies with her procreative body.
To every other male, especially the ones she does not like or that cause
her threat, she presents her defensive body. If another woman walks in, she is
instantly threatened, and she must compare and contrast herself with the other
woman, and “rival” her and find her place above or below herself, noticing
every nuance of the other woman. If the
other woman is accompanied by a male, she measures and assesses and judges the
male to find his level in the ladder pack, and if he is a supreme or alpha
male, or superior to her own, she immediately becomes interested in this male,
offering him her egg and the batting of her lashes. The ability to attract and win this woman’s
male will put her above her rival. She
falls in” benchmark” with her new male, even if she is accompanied herself by
her own male, and even if she loves her own male and does not love her own
benchmark. She gives the impression of
being in Love, while the whole hierarchical survival rivalry does not involve
her heart, but simply her egg which is in “benchmark”.
The Love game has high
stakes indeed, for human females and males engage mostly in defensive sex and
procreation as a result of defensive sex.
Sex that is part of Love, that is not an assessment or measuring or judging,
or benchmark, is virtually non existent in early relationships, as procreative
biology is so powerful, and the Mommy and Daddy imprint is so powerful. True Love may actually be a stage of late
coupledom or marriage when the sex has faded, and when the muscles and beauty
have faded, and then the kids are up and out of the nest. This is also the time for marriages and
relationships to fall apart or become lifeless or loveless, revealing a life of
being in love with a benchmark, or a life of being in love with how someone
loved you, rather than being in love with a person.
Where do we women and men
fall in the lust and benchmark and biology and imprint of Love? What a wonderful and complex question. Let’s all go out and lust and benchmark and
mate, and Love, and find out. Or let’s just evolve ourselves and our lovers and
mates and the Love we already have.
Meow, meow!
Woof, woof!
Meow-Woof!
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
No comments:
Post a Comment