Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
146 May 25, 2012
The
Professional Mopey
Have you ever been around a
person that makes you feel like a black cloud is hanging overhead? These people are constantly pouty, constantly
moody and mopey and depressed, these people are constantly feeling sick and down
and bad, and they bring down others around them. I call these people
professional mopey’s. Whether the professional mopey manifests his or herself
as a hypochondriac, or as a constant complainer or expectant needer, or pouty,
moody, depressed whiner, professional pouty’s are a real downer to be
around.
People that have problems
with their attitudes and moods and behaviors have real problems. People that
have problems with their attitudes and moods and behaviors get off on having problems
that become everyone else’s problems. People who have chronic depression, and
people who chronically must share their woes with us, people who are
chronically a pain in the ass to other people, wallow in the fetish of
attracting attention from other people, people who also get off on listening to
and doting on and serving the chronic, professional moper.
When we are babies and
children we are ready to give Love, and we are ready to receive Love. When we
have parents who give and receive Love readily and often, and who give us
healthy Love at healthy times, we grow up to be adults who give and receive
Love in a healthy way. Professional mopey’s are simply people who are reaching
out for attention and Love in the only way that they know, the way that they
learned as babies and children, and that is as a needy and mopey and sickly
child. Professional mopey’s get
attention the only way they know how, and the attention that is received and
the service given feels like the same Love (or lack of) that they received as
children. The listener and server and
victim of the professional mopey also receives the feeling of giving or
listening or caring or serving, and this also feels like Love. Professional
mopey attention that is given and received as Love is neurotic Love, and it is
a fetish for both the mopey and the mopey-victim in symbiosis with each other.
If you ask the common,
professional mopey in yet another bad mood or bad behavior or bad illness what
is really troubling them, the answer comes back as “I don’t know”. The issue is that they do not want to know,
for the ailment of feeling down or sick or mal-tempered is the defensive fetish
of basking in self-loathing or self-martyrdom or self-pity and self-stagnation,
and often all of the above. Professional mopey-ism is a defensive maneuver to
manage internal pain on the part of the mopey, and in fact feeling supposed
pain of a hundred kinds and making sure we all know about it keeps far larger
pains from surfacing in the mopey. The
people in symbiosis and co-need with the professional mopey also give and give
and care and care, and tolerate and tolerate the misery of being a
mopey-victim, and this is also defensive to keep large pains of their own from
surfacing.
Professional mopey-ism is
devastating to children, and every hypochondriac and depressive, every
complainer and ill-behaved and ill-mannered parent creates his or her now
little servant-slave to happily serve their master. These children will then
grow up and marry chronic black-cloud people, and the co-dependency of the
black cloud and the person constantly being rained on repeats generation after
generation. Children that live under black clouds and constantly get rained on
grow to seek the shelter of black clouds that will constantly rain on them, so
that the rainer and the rainee will feel as if they are back home in their
parental nest.
Professional mopey-ism is
not genetic or hereditary, professional mopey-ism is a learned response of
seeking Love neurotically where in effect there is or was none. Professional
mopey-ism is a defensive survival response from severe trauma during childhood.
Professional mopey-ism is repressed rage, and professional mopey-ism is a
weapon of torture to those around the mopey. Living under a black cloud is miserable,
and the miserable mopey gets off on making sure that everyone around them is
also miserable. The people who live around the professional mopey also thrive
on the misery of the black cloud after having grown up that way.
The professional mopey
appears as a victim of suffering and down-ness and ailments, but in fact the
professional mopey is an aggressor, and the bringer of difficulty and
manipulation to those around them. The
professional mopey has no intention of ever becoming a light and bubbly,
positive and constructive soul, and the professional mopey has no intention of
helping themselves or healing, for the professional mopey is feeling repressed
rage and pain and suffering, and the fetish is to spread the same around as
torture to all, all so that the professional mopey does not have to face or
remember the deep trauma and deprivation and unfulfilled needs that caused the
mopey-ness to being with.
If a mopey-victim feeling or
living under a black cloud were to say to a professional moper: “what is your problem again? I don’t
appreciate your manipulation of me, and I don’t want to see or hear any more
about your problems!”, they will immediately receive the expression and
reaction of insult and anger and offense that the professional mopey is masking.
If this very healthy rejection of manipulation is repeated by a mopey victim, eventually
the professional mopey will move on to a new victim to feed on.
We all have moods and ups
and down, we all have ailments and needs and complaints, but healthy people cycle
through their lives and processes quickly and easily, and healthy people do not
feel the fetish or need to rain on anyone else’s parade. Professional mopey’s
are professional rainers, and their very serious personal problems create very
serious problems in other people, especially children. It is crucial that any person with anything
at all “chronic” seek help from caregivers and professionals, and when any chronic
anything turns out to be the chronic pattern, this person must realize the pain
and harm that they are causing others and get help. Let us never rain on anyone else’s parade,
and if we feel like raining ourselves, let us reach to others for sincere help
to understand our problems and cure them, and not to bask in our fetish of
drawing others into our problems that never end. Let us become professional lovies and smilies
to brighten the day of all those around us by getting the healing that we need
for our problems.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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