An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 41 February 10, 2012
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Sex is fun. That seems like a pretty obvious statement. When I was little, way back in the 60’s before the turn of the century or millennium, everyone made sex so mysterious. Everyone is still making sex so mysterious. I remember rolling my eyes at the funny adults when I was 5 when they told me about the birds and the bees. “They must think I’m stupid”, I thought. “I never heard a bird or bee locking itself in Mommy and Daddy’s room and grunting and making the bed squeak before”, I said. “Watch your mouth Roe”, my grandmother said. “I can’t watch my mouth grandma because it’s right under my eyes”, I said. “Don’t be smart”, she said. “That’s dumb Grandma”, I said. “I thought you said I was so smart?” That conversation got considerably worse until I felt the German wooden cooking spoon on my back side again. So much for the story of the birds and the bees. Never be smart with a WW2 German grandmother that thinks you’re smart.
Mother and Father Nature are the bosses, and they say that sex is about ba-boom-bang and out comes a baby. Anyway, anyhow, anywho. You survive and you are boss, and the boss takes his or her sex. You don’t survive and you don’t got no more sex. Ba-boom-bang, you’re dead and so is your species. Sex is about power, who has it and who doesn’t. The funny thing is that we human’s are Nature’s best answer to survival to date. We can think and feel and say and know Love, and we can lay belly to belly and eye to eye and enjoy our sex, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. And we can decide if and when or why or not we want a baby. Ba-boom-bang, and no baby. Take that Mother and Father Nature. So why is this so confusing? We are procreative animals, and we are pro creative, because we can professionally create a myriad of ways and times for oingy boingy love that has no reason to care if our species survives. And we can make the whole idea incredibly confusing and mysterious to smart little 5 year old boys who have to watch their mouths.
Sex is love, and love is sex. Since love is all there is, and everything is a variation of love, then all sex is love, and all love is sex. In the case of human sexuality, it goes sexual-ponential. When love becomes aware of itself loving, and sex becomes aware of itself sexing, when procreation becomes pro I can choose to do anything I want, and I love you, the universe orgasms. Every time genitals exchange each other to conception and propagation, the universe smiles, but when the love flows eye to eye and sperm to egg, the universe orgasms.
In human sexuality all sex is a variation of Love. Even the most base and disgusting porn act is a variation of love. You have loving love, and many alternative and deviant forms of sexual love, no less loving. You have angry sexual love, defiant sexual love, perverse sexual love, and dominant and submissive sexual love. But alternative sexuality is an alternative to loving love, and deviant sexuality is a deviation from loving love.
Loving sexual love between humans is a reciprocation of giving and receiving, with intent and motive and result to give and receive. Ideal human loving sexuality is an equality in status and value, and ideal human loving sexuality is an equality in respect and dignity. But ideal human loving sexuality is not equal in power. In ideal human loving sexuality, there is always a giving and receiving, and a dominance and a submission. In ideal human loving sexuality both partners have the ability to give and receive equally, and both partners have the ability to dominate and submit, but in alternation, and not at the same time.
Human sexuality is codified and imprinted on the brain in the last trimester of uterine life, especially during birth, and finally cemented in the first few hours and days of a newborns life. The very first roadmap engraved onto the human heart and brain becomes the “first line” experience of life, and this is a downloading of the emotional and psychological histories of the two parents, or first caregivers. The human heart and psyche comes with an inherited blueprint of ideal human loving sexuality, and any miniscule abuse or perversion or falling short of this expected loving perfection is registered as trauma and deprivation of love upon the psyche. When a person matures and comes of age sexually, everything that was done perfectly by the parents becomes human loving sexuality. When a person matures and comes of age sexually, everything that was done imperfectly alternatively or deviantly or perversely becomes alternative and deviant and perverse sexuality.
In human sexuality the pleasure response is governed by power, who has it and who doesn’t, and how loving or not it is, and that is based on the first imprints from the womb and birth and the first few hours and days, and how loving the power was experienced. In human sexuality the pleasure response is governed by turn-ons and fetishes. Turn-ons and fetishes are determined by who has and wields the power, and who does not have or receives the power. Human sexuality is driven by Nature, but is refracted through trauma and unfulfilled need from birth and early childhood. Humans with the most healthy gestations and births, with the healthiest parents, sexually and emotionally, and psychologically, have the most healthy and loving sexualities. Since the vast majority of uterine life, birth, and early childhood memory is steeped in trauma and deprivation, these events remain carefully protected in our unconscious memory. The roots of sexuality and balanced healthy human loving sexuality are therefore mostly unconscious, and seemingly loving and healthy parents are most often in actuality responses to deviation from ideal loving sexuality and perversion of healthy sexuality. The truth of human health and the ability to give and receive love in a loving way are rooted in the ability of humans to relate in loving and giving human sexuality. The truth of the health of any couple and set of parents is demonstrated in the bedroom, and the ability of the couple to alternate back and forth with giving and receiving sexual power in a loving sexual manner.
Sex is fun. That seems like a pretty obvious statement. When I was a little boy in the early 60’s I watched the sexual revolution unfolding, and I watched the wholesale adoption of unbalanced human sexuality in alternative and deviant and perverted sex brought into the mainstream as natural and normal. Natural it is as occurring in nature, normal it is as a response to pain and perverse imprinting of a child by unhealthy parents. Nevertheless the whole acceptance of sexualized and acted out perverted pain upon another as fun, without the obvious heart feeling of having fallen short of ideal love, is not natural or normal, but instead simply some tough, kinky love. So hooray for tough, kinky, perverse love that falls short of ideal loving sexual love. And hooray for the power as humans to know and choose and enjoy whatever we want, baby or no baby. Let us all just be conscious as we pass all our sexualized pain onto our children. Let us also be conscious of silly lies and mysterious voodoo about grunting and squeaky beds to smart little boys. Let us be extremely conscious of WW2 grandmas that cheered for the sexual buzz of genocide, and who sexually got off on the sound of a cooking spoon on the backside of a child who spoke out about hearing lies.
Here is the new updated post WW2 version: “Mommy and Daddy are having sex, and sex is fun and feels good. Sex is where men and women put their genitals inside of each other to either make a baby, or love each other, or just enjoy each other. When you grow up, you will too. You will love, you will have fun, and you will feel good”. Thanks Grandma, I appreciate your honesty. But could you Mom and Dad to try and keep the grunting down so I can hear my cartoons on Saturday morning?”
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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