An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 49, February 18, 2012
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Everyone enjoys being the recipient of kindness. If I had a choice to have someone be kind to me, or mean to me, I would choose kindness. What about you? Kindness is really a mixed barrel. On rare occasions in my life people have been genuinely kind to me. What I mean by genuinely kind is that I could feel that it came genuinely from their heart. The person that was kind to me felt the need to be kind from their heart, rather than an act that expected an outcome, and at times it was costly to them. I have heard the expression that generosity is not giving what you don’t need, but giving what you can’t do without. Kindness is like that too. Kindness is like a natural spring of water that emanates from deep within the earth. When the water finally reaches the surface it flows outwards onto dirt or rocks or plants, and it doesn’t ask for feedback as a reward for its flowing. It just flows.
There truly is no unselfish act, and all acts of all living creatures come from the spring of self deep within that is selfish. Some selfish acts gratify or sustain the self with no obvious impact on anything or anyone, while others selfish acts of living things have obvious negative impacts on the life surrounding it. Kindness is a selfish act of a person emanating from within, and gratifying the needs of the person, while having a positive impact on the recipient. That is nice. Sometimes the very act of kindness has no outward reward, just like the spring water, but the mere flow of the kindness outwards makes the kind person feel good. There are people that are kind because they feel good when they get to see the results, and if the result is rejected or ungrateful the deed falls short and so does the selfish gratification. Nevertheless, kindness has still had an effect. Kindness that is unfelt by the recipient or rejected is infinitely more kind than a mean act, no matter who gives or receives.
My favorite acts of kindness are the genuine ones. Genuine kindness does not expect an outcome or result, and genuine kindness is not giving what one has the luxury or resources or time to give, but the sharing of one's self at equal cost and benefit to both recipients. Genuine kindness is a lateral flow of Love which comes un-beckoned. One of my many careers in my life was an over the road truck driver. I met a white man from north Texas who had worked for the same company, who was a known as a vociferous nigger hater in the early 80’s. One day in northern New Mexico, in the middle of the night, he noticed a car’s lights on way off in the desert, off the road, from a van that had spun out and rolled over in the snow storm. Inside was a single mother with two broken legs, and three children, one also badly hurt. “Chuck” carried the family up into his sleeper cab, one by one, and drove them to the nearest hospital 70 miles away in Taos. He parked his 70’ long big rig in front of the emergency room entrance, and helped carry the family into the hospital. He declared to the hospital staff that he was “family”, and he stayed with the other two children all night as the mother and hurt child were treated. I would say that Chuck was kind. When it was revealed to me that the family was black, it added a whole new dimension in my mind to Chuck’s kindness. Chuck’s big rig was towed away from the hospital for being illegally parked since he would not leave the children, and in the end Chuck was cited by the police and finally fired by our company. He violated company rules of allowing passengers in his company vehicle, and for abandoning his rig with valuable cargo. When I asked him how he felt about the whole experience, he said he still wasn’t sure. He said that he just hated niggers in general, but that had nothing to do with that poor family. He said that he didn’t want to work for a company that doesn’t understand a situation like that. He said it all kind of came from the inside, and he just followed his gut. He said that he couldn’t get another trucker job with that on his record, and he said that none of the repercussions occurred to him when he helped the family. When I asked him if he would do the same now that he knew the cost of his kindness, he didn’t hesitate for a second. “Damn right”. I would say that Chuck had a very large, kind gut.
When I was in the 4rd grade, I was due to be expelled from school permanently after having been suspended the maximum 3 times for “inappropriate behavior”. Instead of expelling me, the PhD. lady principal, whom I had often offended, sent me to a private child psychologist, at risk of losing her job, “to try and reach me”. Kindness. This private child psychologist, clearly aware that I was suffering from severe emotional abuse at home, recommended that I be transferred to a school for gifted children, stating that I was “over qualified for the 4th grade and just bored”. Kindness. When I entered into my new class of equally “different” kids, the teacher announced that I was to be allowed to do whatever I wanted, and anyone who became my friend should consider themselves very lucky. Every child knew the truth, and all quietly reached out to me. Kindness. In the 5th grade my family moved to a different city, and I found myself 6 miles from school. I was 10 years old. For an entire year I rode my bicycle to and from school, and the fact that I was not even in the same school district, and riding such a distance at 10, was kept top secret by the teacher and all the kids. Kindness. One day I arrived at school sick, and parked my bike, throwing up. I was taken to the teacher by my Japanese prodigy friend, and spent the day lying on a pad covered in the jackets of the other kids. Kindness. When the class ended, my bike was loaded into the trunk of the teacher’s car, and she drove me home. I remember her telling me to not worry about her car when I stuck my head out the window to throw up. Kindness. Another faculty member at the adjacent traditional elementary school saw the teacher on the road with me in the car and my bike in the trunk, and reported it to the administration. When the school administration found out what was happening I was discontinued from attending the school for gifted children, and my teacher was very nearly fired for several “very severe” ethical transgressions. The entire program for gifted children was threatened by the acts of the teacher that began the same program, and if it had not been for her friends, many school principals and psychologists, she would have lost her job and career. Kindness.
Wherever you are kind people of this world, this is a good time for us recipients of kindness to say thank you. Thank you. The expression that no good deed goes unnoticed is in fact true. And it does not matter whether kindness is self serving or fake, expecting an outcome or altruistic. Kindness is kindness in all its forms, and the results of kindness are the seeds of Love that grow into huge Loving life all around us. I would not be here right now if it were not for the kindness of so many people, and I enjoy spilling kindness out all over this kind place.
I know that you also benefit from giving and receiving kindness. That is a nice thing.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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