Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 90 March 30, 2012
Ecstatic Birth – Part 4
The ecstatic yellow brick road to a Love birth in Oz begins with a woman who doubts any and all people and places and times to help her with something that she does not need help with, since she is quite literally the proverbial Goddess herself about to recreate life, and she needs no one. She does not need any help, especially from her multi-tasking, super-wonder-woman, brainy, responsible producing self, since she is a 10 zillion terabyte birthing machine long perfected and trusted by nature. All she has to do is get out of her own way by drugging herself on her own hormones, and to do this all she has to do is be alone, be in a perfect and joyous and safe location, and let her pain take her to the brick wall of giving up leads her to fly into the ecstasy of her role as a mother. Sounds easy, but as a man the best I can do is know that you ladies can trust yourselves. I’ll give you some seed, guard the door of our Love cave, and have a candle lit dinner and a bottle of wine to congratulate you when you emerge with our child. That sounds easy too, but its not. We each have our own roles, and now all we have to do is fulfill them the way nature intended.
Here is the ideal environment for a Love ecstatic birth: Picture an igloo or yurt, a cave like rounded structure that she can stand up and walk around in, all made of beautiful, feminine like fabric and tapestries in her favorite colors. This can be done by hanging tapestries up on the ceiling and walls of the master bedroom where hopefully the baby was conceived. There are no windows, and the doorway is totally securable so that no one can get in, and one and only one entrance. If the mother feels claustrophobic or negative feelings in this space, this proves her unresolved traumatic birth feelings, and she should increase the size of the room until the feeling stops, or ad windows until she feels “ahhhhh!” in a relaxing way like where she would like to have an ideal nap. The bathroom is en suite, and all surfaces are covered in soft carpet or fabric, with lots of pillows and a yummy feather bed, or her ideal sleeping space. The space is lit very low for labor, with no distractions of any kind, no sounds or people or noises. The room is filled with her favorite plants and art work and stuffies and memerobilia that induce a feeling of childhood and nostalgia and happiness. There are candles and her favorite music, and lots of yummy food and drink, and even a small bit of wine or beer for her to party alone. She has all her favorite things, her favorite clothes and precious things that create a feeling of ideal home and safety and love. There is as lovely spa or Jacuzzi in the room with warm bubby water where she can labor and relax and birth, and these can be easily rented and erected in any space. All over the room or cave there are places to hang and kneel and swing and labor. Hammocs are perfect, and a padded thick branch hanging from two ropes, like a high swing to drape over and sway, is ideal. Women have birthed hanging over tree branches for millions of years, the most ideal birthing position. She has no telephone, no cell phone, no computer, no books, no Tv, and no music with words or lyrics. The idea is to shut off her abstract reasoning cortex, and surrender to 10 million b.c.
Outside of her ideal, romantic, loving, honeymoon-birth-my-baby-space, she has the best midwife in the world waiting for her and supporting her, the grandma type that has birthed 5,000 babies with no C sections or deaths, who trusts the Mommy-to-be to solo birth. If no doula or midwife will do support her solo birt, she is not to be trusted since she does not trust the laboring mother. Grandma can hear her birthing moans and knows exactly where she is in labor, and does not enter the private space unless the birthing mother requests it, and if she request help when she is not in trouble, she has not surrendered to her trance-like state, so she must resist calling for help, and persist alone. The midwife and lover-father can use their supportive eyes to be there, but not help her or intervene. If perhaps there is a complication that she needs help with, then that is what the midwife is there for. Knowing that a pro is out there allows her deep psyche to relax, and not feel like she is taking a risk. Even if there is one chance in 10 trillion that she or her baby or both could die, an expert doula or midwife is essential. This birth guide has arrangements with doctors and hospitals in case of true emergency, and no birth emergency comes on suddenly that does not give time for a transfer within 30 minutes. All skilled birth assistants recognize problems and risks long before they manifest. This is so rare in a perfectly planned and surrendered ecstatic birth as to be virtually never happen. But no risk should ever be taken regarding child birth, and the safest and most joyous births in the world are planned and supported home births. The most awful and dangerous births in the world are in hospitals, and hospitals should be avoided at all cost except as last emergency resorts.
Only the birth daddy can enter the space, and not recommended unless he helps to induce the trance state in his pregnant lover, and only upon her invitation. If she is requiring his presence to help her or rescue her, it is better to never acquiesce, her endorphin trigger response must be allowed to happen, and we will prevent that if he interacts with her. He must never talk, and she must never talk to him that requires his response, and if so he must not respond in words. Every switch to the cortex stunts the primal endorphin birth response. Talking is a cortical response and counter birth. No one ever talks to kitties or horsies or mousies when they birth, and they don’t talk back. No male is ever around a birthing female mammal, ever, and no male should ever be around a female human mother in labor or birthing unless he is benefitting her progress by his silent and supportive presence.
Tomorrow we will talk about the true primordial psycho-emotional response of Lover-Daddy and his place in child birth.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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