Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 153 - Mommy Blah Blah And Daddy Yada Yada And Their Work Ethic For Me


Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 153 June 1, 2012


Mommy Blah Blah And Daddy Yada Yada And Their Work Ethic For Me


I often wonder if parents remember being children.  When we are children we are so sure that we know what we want, and we are so sure that our parents are daft and are messing everything up.  As children we are so sure that playing is good, and we are positive that chores and working are bad.  As children we want to love people and we want them to love us.  As children we don’t understand why no one wants to have fun with us, and we are sure that Mommies and Daddies are boring and unhappy people that don’t make any sense at all.  Then, when we grow up to be parents, we become daft and mess everything up for our children.  When we become parents we lose our deep love for play, and we instead worship chores and working.  When we become parents we struggle to love people who struggle to love us. As parents we forget the value of having fun, and we become boring and unhappy people that don’t make any sense at all to our children.  I want to know what happened to you and me when we grew up?  When did we joyous children that had everything all figured out sell out to the parental chore and homework Gestapo?  How agonizing that we look and sound and behave just like our busy, fun-less parents that never paid attention to us, huh?
When I was growing up I remember that my parents’ mouths ran on way too much.  “Do this and do that!”  “Don’t do this and don’t do that!”  “Blah, blah,blah!”  “Yada, yada, yada!” I distinctly remember in junior high school being given the concise description of the word “hypocrite” by the biggest hypocrite, buffoon teacher I had ever had the misfortune to suffer.  How funny.  I clearly remember how odd it felt to find the exact definition for my parents in a word that I learned long after my parents were hypocrites. I secretly called my dad Mr. Hypo and my mom Mrs. Crite, and together they were Mr. and Mrs. Hypo-Crite. I used to spend a lot of time rolling my eyes and shaking my head at the buffoon-ness of my Mr. and Mrs. Hypo-Crite Mommy and Daddy.  Blah blah, blah!  Yada, yada, yada!   What my parents did all the time is say, “Do as I say, not as I do”.   Sorry Mom and Dad,  but you clearly blew it.
I am still sure that playing is the greatest thing in life, and loving and being loved are beautiful, and having fun is the funnest thing about life. I am still sure that children have it all figured out, and adults that have rotted to long in shoulds and shouldn’ts and have lost their way.  I want to remind all parents that your kids are not listening to your never ending mouths spurging sermons all over the place, and your kids don’t care about all your silly rules and morals and manners and chores and work and blah, blah, blah, just like you didn’t when you were young.  Childhood is about being a child, and no child can be a child with boring parents always yada, yada, yada-ing all over the place.  No child ever learns a damn thing Mommy and Daddy by what you say, we never have, and we never will.   Your kiddies learn simply by what you do, and the example that you set by how you live your own life.  Your mouth and your words are just your own hypocritical power trip over the beauty of the childhood that you lost and miss, and if you are so sure of what you are doing with your kids, why are you so miserable and why are they so happy?  Good question huh?
Perhaps we parents should just go on living our lives as best we can, and keep our mouths shut, and let our children be children so that they can grow up to honor children and childhood, and maybe save the world with love and fun and play.  I heard a mother say the other day, “I want to instill a good work ethic in my children”.  Wow, good idea.  The best way Mommy is to work hard and true and long and happily yourself all your life, and never say a word to your children about your toils, and never expect then to do what is your job not theirs. The best way Daddy is to laugh and play while you work, and enjoy your work, and never, never Mommy and Daddy run your mouths about work, or ever expect your children to do any work ever unless they are happy to do so. Rules and chores and work and manners and ethics kill children, and dead children grow up to be dead parents that kill our world, just like us dead parents that think we are so smart, but have our world in a shambles.
If your children are lazy and unproductive at 2 and 6 and 16 and 22, well good for them, for that is the design and joy of childhood.  What moron figured out that adulthood starts at 17.552 years old?  If you worked happily and diligently and passionately Mommy and Daddy, all during the lazy and happy play lives of your children, with happy and quiet mouths, and without ever expecting your children to do anything at all, then your children will absolutely do the same, with honor and respect for your graceful example, and in gratitude for honoring and respecting their freedom and choice to work themselves when they are ready.  Your children are not your slaves or your oxes or your charges or your subjects, your children are guests in your house invited in by you.  If you want then to clean their rooms, go and clean it yourselves Mom and Dad, or shut the door, for that is their space and none of your business.  Just keep your own room clean Mom and Dad, and respect and value your child, that is the best you can do.  If you blah, blah,blah Mommy about work this and work that, if you yada, yada, yada Daddy all the time about what is expected and why and how and when and . . .  YIKES, besides stealing away your child’s childhood like yours was stolen, you will simply be a bore and a nuisance just like your own parents were to you during your long forgotten childhood, and you will be resented and labeled Mr. and Mrs. Hypocrite like my parents, and forever be feared and OOPS, create miserable and boring adults out of your children, just like our parents made miserable and boring adults out of you and me.
Children should never be made to do anything ever unless it is for their safety or health, and if we parents have a good idea for our children, let us zip the lips and show them by gracious and loving example, and if they emulate us we did a good job at being a person true to our hearts.  If they do not emulate us perhaps we are hypocrites like our parents, or perhaps they are unique and individual souls with their own spirits and ideas and futures.  Well duh.  Chores and compulsory schooling and homework and yada yada’s and blah blah’s are for parents  and not for children. If you can’t handle what is on your plate Mom and Dad you should have never had children, but now that you did have children, if you want to condescend to other souls and berate other souls and run other souls around like chickens in thunder storms, go and find some friends that are your equals and see if they let you do that, and get off the backs of your innocent and defenseless love children who just want to be kids just like you wanted to be a kid before you forgot how.  Let us adults and parents sermonize ourselves if we are so smart.  If we are so great, why are we all struggling so much just for basic Love and happiness and success?  Perhaps we should all watch our little miracle children show us how Life is really about play and Love and fun and just being together, and maybe we will remember what we used to know.  Let us not belliger our children around simply so that we don’t have to feel the pain of having lost our own childhoods by having been belligered around by our own parents.
So what if your house and yard and car and child are not ideal and perfect and right and impressive. Are you really so worried Mom and  Dad that the neighbor or relative or teacher will find out that you and your child are fun-loving and heart sharing pals that value and trust each other without producing or proving anything?  I hope the relatives and neighbors and teachers don’t find out that we are all treating our children like brownie pins and trophies and field oxen.  Let’s all instill proper manners and ethics and education and status in our children by butting out of their childhoods with our mouths and expectations and standards and productions, and instead just live a grand life of play and Love and fun and sharing and being together with them each and every day. 
Wow, that sounds like childhood to me, and what a great ethic that is. Love to all children, the ones that you bring to this world, and the one inside of you that still miss sweet, fun, happy childhood.  

See you tomorrow.


yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com










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