Thursday, July 26, 2012

Day 158 - The Infamous Grudge Fuck - Part 1


Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 158 June 6, 2012


The Infamous Grudge Fuck
Part 1


We humans as sexual creatures are here as one of Nature’s millions of progenitors, so the basics of our existence is simply to bump and grind our loins together when we are in heat, like dogs and buffalos, to perpetuate our species. Next in line in the evolution of human sexuality is simply sex for pleasure, and with human females in heat and potentially interested in mating 24/7/365, we humans have a lot of sex.  When we have sex with other people without emotional interest or personal investment in them, we are simply fucking.  The interesting irony of fucking is that no human can fuck without some kind of emotional interest or need, either conscious or unconscious or both, and so if we are engaging in sex without seeming emotional emotional interest or personal investment in the other person, we are in fact fucking someone emotionally with some kind of emotional investment in or against them and not realizing it. The drive and need fulfillment in fucking is unconsciously driven, and we are meeting our emotional agendas and needs, most often without even knowing it.  When we engage in sex with other people without some kind of emotional interest or personal investment in them, we are either grudge fucking them or someone else through them. It is impossible for human beings to engage in sex without our hearts being invested.
We humans can either fuck, or we can make Love. When we make Love we intertwine our hearts and psyches and bodies together in a mutual and reciprocal exchange of pleasure as a gift to each other, and making Love is elevating and redeeming and beautiful for both partners feeling Love.  When we humans fuck, we simply intertwine our genitals, and our hearts and minds are absent, or so we belive.  Nature is fine with superficial and selfish and impartial fucking. Rape is and has been the most successful means of the survival of our species for Nature, and procreation of any kind is fucking, except when we feel love and when we make Love.  If we are in Love with our partners that we have a personal interest in and an emotional investment in, and if we engage in mutual pleasuring of each other in an elevating way, we are making Love.  All other forms and methods of sex are fucking, and most couples even in Love, rarely succeed in going beyond fucking, since they engage in mutual use and mutual degradation and mutual physical exchange without the eyes and words and hearts that express the Love.
Human fucking is always grudge fucking. Fucking for humans, which is sex without Love, is the dark side of consciousness.  When we are in the womb and during labor, especially during birth and the emergence into the air, we are imprinting catastrophic trauma and fear, and these “first line” imprints become the prototypes to our sexuality and to our selves. Dark sexuality is driven by pain, and adult sexuality that is not loving and elevating is sexualized pain.  All humans sexualize their pain as a coping mechanism and as a defensive and survival mechanism where primal trauma is converted into pleasure as a survival measure to keep the real primal pain from reaching consciousness.
When a man fucks a woman, sex where he has no personal interest in her or actual investment in her, he is grudge fucking her.  In truth, he has an emotional investment in his own Mommy and his Daddy since childhood, though he has long repressed it due to the catastrophic pain.  When a man fucks a woman, he is living out his anger and rage and fear and loss and rebellion and revenge, and he is unconsciously fucking Mommy, or fucking Mommy over, and he is fucking Daddy, or fucking Daddy over, in a myriad of ways.  When a man fucks a woman he is grudge fucking Mommy by punishing her with his anger, he is grudge fucking Mommy by showing off for her to fuck with her, he is grudge fucking Mommy by making her jealous, he is grudge fucking Mommy by actually having sex with Mommy symbolically in his repressed unconscious symbolically through a proxy. When a man fucks a woman he is grudge fucking Daddy by taking Daddy’s woman, he is grudge fucking Daddy by showing off for him, he is grudge fucking Daddy by outdoing him and rivaling him and making him jealous, all with his sexualized anger.  When a man fucks a woman he is punishing or teasing or egging on or rebelling or revenging his wife or girlfriend or sister or mother, and when a man fucks a woman he is using the current woman as a tool to simply get off in sexualized pain, but directed at other women and men in his repressed psyche. When a man fucks a woman he is degrading himself and her, and in the process attacking Mommy and Daddy by degrading their idea of him.  When a man fucks a woman he degrades her and himself, and in the process degrades his Mommy and hid Daddy as he replays his childhood in sexualized pain. All fucking is grudge fucking, and the person in the present is just a proxy and trigger and transference to get to the thrill of fucking with Mommy and Daddy.
When a woman fucks a man, sex where she has no personal interest in him or actual investment in him, she is grudge fucking him.  In truth, she has an emotional investment in her own Mommy and her Daddy since childhood, though she has long repressed it due to the catastrophic pain.  When a woman fucks a man, she is living out her anger and rage and fear and loss and rebellion and revenge, and she is unconsciously fucking Daddy, or fucking Daddy over, and she is fucking Mommy, or fucking Mommy over, in a myriad of ways.  When a woman fucks a man she is grudge fucking Daddy by punishing him with her anger, she is grudge fucking Daddy by showing off for him to fuck with him, she is grudge fucking Daddy by making him jealous, she is grudge fucking Daddy by actually having sex with Daddy symbolically in her repressed unconscious. When a woman fucks a man she is grudge fucking Mommy by taking Mommy’s man, she is grudge fucking Mommy by showing off for her and rivaling her, she is grudge fucking Mommy by outdoing her and making her jealous and by punishing her with her anger.  When a woman fucks a man she is punishing or teasing or egging on or rebelling or revenging her husband or boyfriend or brother or father, and when a woman fucks a man she is using the current man as a tool to simply get off in sexualized pain, but directed at other men and women in her repressed psyche. When a woman fucks a man she is degrading herself and him, and in the process attacking Mommy and Daddy by degrading their idea of her.  When a woman fucks a man she degrades herself and him, and in the process degrades her Mommy and hid Daddy as she replays her childhood in sexualized pain.  All fucking is grudge fucking, and the person in the present is just a a proxy and trigger and transference to get to the thrill of fucking with Mommy and Daddy.

To be continued tomorrow in part 2

See you tomorrow.


yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com


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