Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
157 June 5, 2012
Heroes
Or Villains
We all either love heroes or
villains, and the funny thing is that heroes and villains either love to be heroes
or villains too. It seems to be always one or the other. Who would believe that
the psycho-emotional fetish and conscious and unconscious drive for heroism and
villainism are the same? As a matter of fact, Attila and Adolph are twin
brothers of Jesus and Gandhi, though all the goodie-hero lovers will cringe
that supposed evil could be spoken in the same breath of supposed
divinity. What is funny is that the
baddie-villain lovers cringe no less to hear the names of saints spoken
together with the world’s worst villains. What exactly is the division between
good and bad, and hero and villain, and why do we all gravitate towards one or
the other?
All of Life is an expression
of Love, and every aspect of Life is an aspect of Love. Heroism is a drive for
positive attention and positive recognition and positive worth and felt as
positive Love, the ultimate desire of all humans. Villainism is a drive for negative attention
and negative recognition and negative worth and felt as negative Love, still
the ultimate desire of all humans. Love
in any form is the ultimate desire of all Life and for all humans. Heroes and
villains are not hiding from Life and Love on tropical islands unknown to us,
they are right in the midst of us, and they need and want and benefit from us
noticing them. When a person ascends to heroism there is a positive glint in
their eye, and the rosy cheeks of YES!, and hero attention and hero recognition
are felt as positive Love. When a person
descends to villainism there is a negative glint in the eye, and rosy cheeks of
NO!, and villain attention and villain recognition are felt as negative Love. In actuality, the root of the feeling in the heart
is the same, there is happy Love, and there is angry Love.
Heroes and villains are
people adopt defensive postures that bring them attention and recognition of
good or bad. “I love you and I want you
to love me!”, says the hero. “I hate you
and I want you to hate me!”, says the villain.
Good Love felt as heroism is self-serving to the hero for it bolsters
the need of the hero-self to BE. Bad
Love felt as villainism is self-serving to the villain for it bolsters the need
of the villain-self to BE. Hero types
are nothing without their heroism for the heroism is a defensive act to feed insecure and immature, self seeking attention
and recognition as a needed part of self and happiness. Villain types are nothing without their
villainism for the villainism is a defensive act to feed insecure and immature,
self seeking attention and recognition as a needed part of self and happiness. Without heroism the hero type falls apart
into repressed pain and unhappiness and loss of worth, and without villainism
the villain type falls apart into repressed pain and unhappiness and loss of
worth.
Heroism and villainism are
sexual fetishes, as the drive for attention and recognition and acceptance are
primal imprint drives originating from the same part of the heart and brain and
body as our sexuality. A hero feels his
or her buzz of positive Love in the genitals and the heart and the mind, in
that order, and the villain feels his or her buzz of negative Love in the
genitals and the heart and the mind, in that order, and exactly the same,
except with different results. The hero
gets off on smiles and praise, while the villain gets off on frowns and
curses. Heroes and villains “get off” on
their acts that result in heroism or villainism, and the sexual high of heroism
and villainism is more powerful than the drugs or the alcohol or the adrenaline
that we all crave and use and abuse every day. Heroism and villainism are the
largest aphrodisiacs we have, and the hero or villain type would rather risk
all in their acts of alliance or defiance with us rather than make Love or fuck
directly sexually.
Mommy and Daddy determine
our need for our heroes and villains, or becoming heroes or villains
ourselves. “Mommy and Daddy, please love
me!” Mommy and Daddy, please hate
me!” Whether we wear the gold medal in
front of everyone, or whether we steal the gold medal and beat people over the
head with it, we are performing for Mommy and Daddy, and the attention we are
receiving, good or bad, heroic or villainous, is for Mommy and Daddy in our
conscious and unconscious minds. Mommy-Daddy is the factory and prototype
construction facility of you and me, and when Mommy and Daddy get it right, we
will live unremarkable, harmonious and cooperative lives of Love and community
with our fellow souls that also had great parents and great parenting. When Mommy-Daddy screw up and screw us up, we
will live for the spotlight and warmth of a Mommy-Daddy and parents who will
someday make everything all right and finally love us, and our heroism and
villainism are our attempts to get Mommy and Daddy’s attention.
The deepest drive of Life,
after degradation and demise, is redemption and repair. The full circle of Life includes the fall
from perfection and balance, and the ascent and repair back to the origin. The villain is the degradation and the
demise, and the imperfection and the imbalance, and we all crave to fall and
lose and thrash and break Life. The hero
is the ascent and repair and balance and perfection, and we all crave to harbor
and protect and gain and preserve Life.
Whether we champion light or dark, good or bad, right or wrong, we
champion the paradigm that was set up and administered by Mommy and Daddy.
“Look Mommy and Daddy! Do you notice me
now and care about me now and approve of me now and accept me now and Love me
now? Hee, hee, hee!” And the hero goes
to heaven when all Mommies and Daddies speak their name in praise. “Look Mommy and Daddy. Do you notice me now and care about me now
and approve of me now and accept me now and Love me now? Hee, hee, hee!”. And the villain goes to hell when all Mommies
and Daddies speak their name in infamy. Both heroes and villains need Mommy and
Daddy and our attention and recognition, positive and negative (we are all
proxy Mommy and Daddy to each other).
The comic books and their
film spawns today celebrate the conflict and fight and war between good and
evil, between light and dark, and each story celebrates the preservation of
Life and Love in final victory and vanquishing of disillusion and unhappiness, and all comic books celebrate
our own traumatic and deprived childhoods
where we champion our heroes and villains, or where we vicariously live
out our lives on the pages, and in the end, get what we want and live happily
ever after.
What exactly is the division
between good and bad? It is simply pain.
Where there is no bad and dark and evil, there is no pain. Our pain came from Mommy and Daddy, and where
there is no bad and dark and evil Mommy and Daddy, there is no pain, and
therefore we do not express our lives in pain. Manifestations of heroism and
villainism are both manifestations of pain, each one lived out according to our
programming by Mommy and Daddy. Why do
we gravitate towards one or the other, or why do we tend to champion one or the
other, or even become one or the other? This
is as two sided coin. On one side, we
seek Love, and we get brownies points and gold stars for exactly how much and
what kind of Love comes in to us. If we
are programmed by Mommy and Daddy to receive “good brownie points” and “good
gold stars”, we dream of heroes and heroism, as that gets us the most goodie
points. If we are programmed by Mommy
and Daddy to receive “bad brownie points” and “bad gold stars”, we dream of
villains and villainism, as that gets us the most baddie points. The other side of the coin is that we are all
racked with catastrophic, primal, fetal, and infant trauma and deprivation and
unfulfilled infant and childhood needs.
Virtually all of this pain is so toxic and threatening to us that it is
repressed in our unconscious, and our efforts at heroism and villainism are
simply acts that, for each one of us individually and differently, work to keep
our unconscious pain at bay. Heroic and villainous acts and the reactions that
they cause in others protect us from our repressed primal trauma and
deprivation always trying to become conscious.
Heroism and villainism are hopeful behaviors
and acts and selves that serve us on the outside in terms of recognition and
attention, positive and negative, to feed our insatiable selves that Mommy and
Daddy failed to satisfy, and heroism and villainism are defensive behaviors and
acts that serve us on the inside in terms of recognition and attention,
positive and negative, to help us keep primal pain from surfacing that Mommy
and Daddy caused us. Whether hero or
villain, inside there is a frightened and needy child acting out and acting in for
Love, and acting out and acting in for Mommy and Daddy, and the one we find an allure
with and choose to be or admire is the one that simply serves us the best,
regardless of how it serves others.
Which one are you, hero or
villain? And what happened to you to
cause your own particular version of heroic and villainous hope and heroic and
villainous defense? In truth we are all both
heroes and villains. Attila and Adolph
and Jesus and Gandhi, and little old or young you and me, we are all both heroes
and villains inside and outside, and we all need and miss our Mommies and
Daddies. We are in fact all fun and funny and scary and violent comic book
people, all doing our best to express our Lives according to what we were
given, or what we were not given by Mommy and Daddy.
Me, I am a heroic and
villainous pain in the ass to those that love me, and I am vanquishing pain and
finding Love a little better each and every day. Happy heroes and villains to
all you children out there big and small.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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