Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 155 - "Why Do I Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Man?" - Part 1


Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 155 June 3, 2012


“Why do I Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Man?”
Part 1


Women across the world cry: “Why do I always fall in Love with the wrong man?”   I say:  Well honey, it’s because you are the wrong woman.  The notion that women, like sweet little lotus flowers, are good and right, nice and sweet, while the Mr.’s that she repeatedly falls in Love with always turn out to be bad and wrong and mean and sour, is ridiculous.  The aliens that cultivate us for food say that after you separate the skin and genitals from our bodies, all human’s look and taste the same. All women and all men have aspects that are good and bad, right and wrong, nice and mean, and sweet and sour, and each aspect attracts itself. Love is the pod and males and females are the two peas. If the male pea is a prince, his counterpart is a princess, and if the male counterpart is an asshole, you will always find his bitch at his side, though you may not see her on the surface.  If a woman falls in Love with any man that turns out to be a lemon, especially if this experience is a repeat, she is most certainly his complement of lemon-ness.  Just because women “appear” benign, or as victims, does not mean that they are less “wrong” than any man. As a matter of fact, the list of vile and wicked and unsavory in females can far outstretch a man’s, and the fact that it is hard to detect is the formidable power that females possess with their nice, flower-like disguises.
Anyone who repeatedly falls in Love is not actually in Love, and perhaps has never been in Love, or maybe doesn’t even know what Love is. True soul-mate, conjugal Love comes around maybe once in a lifetime, two if you are ever so lucky. Once you are truly in Love with another soul, you are never out of Love with that soul.  To go from one Love to another is to go from one fetish and infatuation and dependency and indulgence to another, and loving the next person after the last string of persons is simply a personal neurosis that happens to align with theother lover’s own neurosis at the right or wrong place and time. What happened to the last love and person that were loved? Love is not forgotten and superseded so easily. Love is not like changing your shoes when they get worn, and most definitely not in judgment of the last pair as if you have perfect feet, and as you move on to the next pair of lovers or partners or shoes. 
 We all fall in “attention” with and fall in “affection” with and fall in “sex” with and fall in “dependence” with and fall in “convenience” with our lovers and mates. We all fall in irritation and annoyance and disgust and dislike with our lovers, as most Love is defensive and driven out of our unconscious alter egos that cause us to buzz libidinously in defense from our lovers and mates.  Most Love is not Love at all, but a rivalrous and rebellious and libidinous psycho-sexual, social dance with our mates that tickles our fancies, and that tickles our hearts, and that tickles our genitals. When we fall in Love, we fall in primal infant imprint repeat with the Love situation of Mommy and Daddy, and we fall in childhood nostalgia with all that is beautiful about the Love that Daddy had for us if we are females, and the Love that Mommy had for us if we are males.  We also fall in defensive anger and hate with our lovers and mates as the pain of how our Mommy failed us begins to come conscious for us males, and as the pain of how our Daddy failed us begins to come conscious for us females.  We fall in Love with the exquisite dream that we can convert and redeem and change our childhood heartbreaks and traumas and deprivations into happiness and goodness. Love for all people is a chance to repeat the joy of our childhood joy, and to the chance to fix the pain of our childhood sadness in our new Mommy for males, and our new Daddy for females.
Women that are drawn to men with “issues” like a moth to a flame most certainly had Daddies with issues, and how sweet it is to be in close proximity again with sweet Daddy that loves us and wants us and needs us and cares for us so much.  That is until new Daddy goes off his rocker just like real Daddy did, that is until new Papa rears his ugly, disrespecting and abusing and mongering and violent and irresponsible and harmful head, and that is when females are smack dab in the middle of their sick nest of childhood fear and harm and sadness and pain, and smack dab in the middle of their co-dependency nightmare of a bad man with themselves as an injured victim.  “If I could only redeem and amend and repair him and then be happy and live happily ever after” she feels in her heart.  This is the actual definition of neurosis, and the heart of disrespecting and abusing and violent and irresponsible and harmful females in co-neurosis and co-dependency with their males. 
There is no such thing as a victim, there never has been and there never will be, all pain contains it’s counter pain, and all situations contain their complement and opposite.  Every aggressor has his or her provocateur. Every boy attracts his girl, every whore attracts her whoremonger, every loser attracts his loser-ette.  Daddy made Love to or fucked Mommy, that is how we got here, and each of our neurotic parents had their own even more neurotic mothers and fathers.  It is a miracle that we survive to Love at all as children with the horrific abuses perpetrated consciously and unconsciously upon all children each and every day.
To be fair, let’s repeat this paragraph for the world full of males that struggle with high maintenance, caustic, and harmful females.  Men that are drawn to women with “issues” like a moth to a flame most certainly had Mommies with issues, and how sweet it is to be in close proximity again with sweet Mommy that loves us and wants us and needs us and cares for us so much.  That is until new Mommy goes off her rocker just like real Mommy did, that is until Mama rears her ugly, disrespecting and abusing and slutty and bitchy and irresponsible and harmful head, and that is when males are smack dab in the middle of their sick nest of childhood fear and harm and sadness and pain, and smack dab in the middle of their co-dependency nightmare of a bad woman with themselves as an injured victim. “If I could only redeem and amend and repair her and then be happy and live happily ever after”,  he feels in his heart.  This is the actual definition of neurosis, and the heart of disrespecting and abusing and violent and irresponsible and harmful males in co-neurosis and co-dependency with their females.

To be continued tomorrow in part 2

See you tomorrow


yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

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