Day 78 - There's Nothing to it But to Do it

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 78, March 18, 2012

***

When I was young rascal I dreamed of high adventure, and high adventure was anything that was not in the house or in front of the TV. On our black and white TV there was lots of adventure going on, moon landings, presidents and students and civil rights leaders getting shot, and even shooters of presidents getting shot. But as high adventure as it was, it was still black and white and in two dimensions. I guess I grew up in a strange era, back before the turn of the century and millennium, where kids still went out and played. Nothing could ever compare with a little boy’s high adventure in summer with the gang of other kids in the 1960’s and 70’s. My neighborhood was filled with Hippies and their hairy girlfriends who didn’t have much on, and a hundred other things that were cool. In the summer I would leave the house as soon as I could wolf down my corn flakes, and I only came home when I heard my dad screaming my name for dinner. If I stayed at home I was expected to make myself “useful”, which was a euphemism for being a slave to my parents, doing “work”. Work and Yuck came from the same root word to me when I was a kid. Today work that I don’t want to do and Yuck ARE the same word.

Now at 49, I have many, many adventures under my belt, lots of exciting countries, and many awesome disasters. I have a life full of lots of cool oohs! and ahhs!, and I am making more all the time. I have seen lots and lots of hairy and hairless girls who didn’t have much, if anything at all on, way better than when I was a boy in the 60’s, and lots of other wacky trials and tribulations. I have finally grown up to BE the adventure that I spent a boyhood dreaming about. I guess it all sounds alluring and romantic, and I often get people remarking, “wow, I have always wanted to do that, you are so lucky”. When I hear that my eyebrows usually go up, and I realize that I am being perceived like Neill Armstrong on the black and white two dimensional moon on TV. I know that Neill, like me, was not lucky, but in fact earned every millimeter of his adventure the hard way. Here is what he and I say: “Houston, we have a problem. Neill and I are crazy MoFo’s with very, very big balls, and we are willing to sacrifice all for our ambitions and dreams”.

I really think I am a frady cat in truth, and I am afraid to face your life. If I get to meet the Wizard of Oz, it is not courage that I will ask for. I think I will ask for your life, because I think it is you who is lucky. When I hear people sighing with envy or “I wish I woulda, coulda, shoulda’s”, I always say the same thing. I say, “well, there’s nothing to it but to do it!” Just go. Just jump. Just get on with it. The answer I get is, “well I’d have to cash in my IRA and then rent the house and put everything in storage and then get my shots and then plan the trip sensibly and carefully and then what about my wife and gee the kids have their friends and the picket fence needs painting and I don’t know if my boss would let me, and I don’t want to risk my retirement, and . . . . . . uh, isn’t it dangerous?”

Then I tell one of my stories of true adventure, of spending the night freezing, in a leaky tent on a mountain pass between volcanoes in Mexico, with a broken down motorcycle, having a .45 caliber pistol stuck in my face and having what little I own stolen, going without food for a day and a half, being all alone and afraid, and raging at the person stupid enough to coin the word “adventure”. I add that I have no job, no retirement, no insurance, no house, no picket fence, and no high falutin possessions or comfort to enjoy or display to the Jones’ next door. Adventure does not have the letters “eat your cake and expect to have it to” in it. Adventure has the expression “get prepared to eat doo doo and like it”, built right into it.

No, I am not lucky, and no, neither are you. We get what we want, we get what we earn, and we are who we dreamed of being. It is mandatory that you accept that right now. Your life is here and now, and you are who you are here and now. Your own personal acceptance is part and parcel of your life, and if you are lying to yourself, then your life is a lie, and then you are not who you think you are. To envy another is not to be satisfied with self, and to not be satisfied with self means that your very self comes into question. Yes, you can tell your boss to take his job and shove it. Yes you can walk away from your house and all your possessions and never look back. Yes you can take your beautiful or bitchy wife with you or divorce her, yes you can take the kids or drop them off at your parents’ house. Money is not necessary for adventure, neither is preparation or safety or health or timing or yada, yada blah, blah, blah. All it takes is, “just do it”. If you are not happy, then it is time to get your priorities straight, and it is time to make sacrifices, and some big and hard ones. Accept now that you cannot have what you want, or when you want it, or where you dream of, or how you think of it. If you want to float on the wind, you must eject from your precise airliner now.

“Well I can’t just do that”, is simply a lie. What you mean is, “well it just isn’t that important or valuable enough to me to do or have X if I have to give up so much A, B, C, D, and E. I say who needs an IRA or retirement or job or even clothes, when you will be living with a bunch of head shrinkers in Borneo. I say that it is important to accept and admit that what the lovely wife wants is important to you, and not having to listen to whiny teens swatting malarial flies in India is important to you. The new two-slat pickets on your fence are much subtler than the three slat variety, especially when the latest BMW i model can be seen through them. Pretty flowers adorn your new sod lawn, which is now finally visible since the 350 channel satellite antennas have gotten so small, are all supremely important to you. Monday night football with the boys from high school is indispensible, but it cannot compare to the latest Victoria’s secret nightie that adorns wifey on Friday nights, right there in your perfect Posture Pedic mattress.

In fact I am impressed by all people, and I often long for a real normal, planned out, and simple life. But I accept that while you are happy with the remote control pointed at lucky Neill jumping onto the moon, I am still amassing the world’s largest collection of discarded construction wood for my hand built scaffolding to go the moon my way. I am not lucky or fortunate, and neither are you. We are who we are and we have made ourselves that way. And if this is not true, it is time we eat some doo doo to become and make happen what we want and want to be, because we cannot change without sacrifice and suffering. I am impressed by you, and you me, and we wish we could at least eat half of each other’s cake, and still have the other half, and call it a great, compromised life.

Here is a better idea: I wish that you would fix my motorcycle in the cold rain, find the thieves and get my things back, go and stock up on crappy food, find someone to talk to on that mountain pass between volcano’s in Mexico, and continue my adventure to south America for me. Me, I want to watch the game on the plasma screen in your new BMW i model, and then see what color that nightie from Victoria’s Secret is on wifey. I’ll just wait for you right here on that perfect Posture Pedic. Gee, you are so lucky.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 77 - The Power of Fantasy

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 77, March 17, 2012

***

“Dear cruel world: Today I am leaving you, for I am so disappointed and sad about how Life is here in reality”. You the reader may interpret that I have written a suicide note, but it’s Ok, don’t worry. After I kill myself and enter into a whole new realm where I am not so disappointed and sad, I’ll come back, especially when Mommy has my peanut butter and jelly sandwich ready for lunch. When I was a little boy I spent so much time disappointed and sad that I left this cruel world routinely, and I invented my own fantasy existence where I could be happy and not disappointed. My kids say that part of me got stuck there, since I don’t function fully like you might expect that an adult should.

One of the most wonderful parts of our human awareness of self, or consciousness, is fantasy and the ability to exist in a realm beyond or within physicality. I’m a bird! I’m a plane! I’m a porn star! As a matter of fact, after having sex with all the virgin bunnies in the Lear jet I jumped out without a parachute because I had to pee, and I landed on the wings of a Pterodactyl, who returned be back to my cave to assist one of my wives, the Cheetah, giving birth to my latest of many odd children like me. After my PBJ I’ll resume: “Dear cruel world part 2:”

There are some people that might say that the most significant force in the universe is the Jedi force. I agree. Except that the mother of the Jedi force that gave birth to all forces is Boredom. I say frequently to my children, “may the boredom be with you!” I usually get an immediate look of consternation, as if I’m supposed to rescue the little fantasy wizard from what is about to become the most exquisite internal movie in history. Within minutes the look of disgruntle fades to the wide eyed “wow” and “ooh” and “yeah” of fantasy play, where a mere piece of paper now threatens the very existence of Darth Vader, and all purple Munchkins with pink polka-dots become happy. For almost 2 decades two of my kids have been playing doll games together, with elaborate roles and plots and themes, and strangely enough the dolls just sat there like plastic dolls. Eventually I asked, “where are the dolls?” “Oh, we don’t need them anymore, they just distract us, now we do it all in our heads!” Well, the whole process did go to their heads. My son is 17 and finds his joy composing and playing music, and his sister at 19 finds her joy writing erotic romance novels with “fantastic” characters.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. I say that boredom is the mother of fantasy which is the father of the necessity to invent. When we are bored, we naturally search for something to “un bore” us. When we have things to occupy us, and we moderns have hundreds of things to occupy us, we are no longer bored. But when we don’t have anything to fill the gap of a stagnant self, zip!, pow!, kazam!, we spin up internally and a whole new world opens up, if not thousands of worlds. We as the preeminent dominants on planet Earth got here because of our ability to fantasize. What a pity that we did not bring our heart with our brains and muscles and neutron bombs.

Fantasy is power, and those that command fantasy will always have the power. All ambition and all success, all endeavors of humanity in the evolution of culture and society take vision, and dreaming, and hope and the projection of an ideal. Fantasy is vision and dreaming and hope and the projection of ourselves up and out as an ideal. We are fantasy and fantasy is our lives. Children are natural entertainers, of self and others, and the more bored they are, they more they internalize and fantasize, and the more they internalize and fantasize the more powerful they become. Tens of thousands of creative geniuses in our history were supposed to go to school, do their homework, pay attention, learn something, be responsible, get a job, and be somebody so they could prosper. Instead they became Einstein (fantasy) and Jordan (fantasy) and Lucas (fantasy) and absolutely every icon and hero that we have in our society. Everything and everyone we hold dear as heroes are bored-ians and fantasize-ians, to the level of superheroes.

So let’s plan to create a life of boredom and fantasy for our children, and our children will create a life of the need to invent, and create, and change our world for the better. So let’s take notes on how to insure a vibrant and ecstatic life of fantasy for our children and our world.

1. Make sure that you and your children are bored with no recourse but to internalize mentally as often as possible. No busy, busy, busy, except between your fantastical ears.

2. “Daddy I’m bored” begets “Oh good, now enjoy yourself”. If you want to spend quality time with your children, join them in fantasy play, but do not rescue yourself or them from boredom with activities of any kind unless imagination is paramount.

3. Never send your children to school. School indoctrinates children into obedience and managed behavior that is anti creative and anti fantasy, and school converts natural passion for fantasy into abstract thought and symbols and data that kills imagination and childhood. All you have to do is simply allow your children to play all day and night for 20 years, and Einstein and Jordan and Lucas will be living in your house in one way or another.

4. Shoot your television, burn all video games, and bury your computer. Any multi-media devices are against the law and banished from all childhoods. TV and video games and computers are for Potatoes, those lazy vegetables that can be found on couches and chairs and beds and floors missing fantasy, missing creativity, and missing life. What goes in your ears and eyes at the same time reduces your self to an inert bio-mass that does not envision or hope or dream or become. Devices are for boredom-phobias and fantasy-phobias and self-phobias like you and me. (aka lazy people) Let us not ever expose our children to phobia of boredom or phobia of fantasy or phobia of self by device-ing them. No electrical junk in the house. Just a block of wood, a handful of sand, maybe a bamboo flute, and a couple of marbles. Then get out of the way while your children create themselves and our new world to come.

5. Never, never, never, (Ok, one more time) never, teach your children to read, or do mathematics, until they do that on their own. It is a documented scientific fact, researched and proven, and you can find the studies and research and proof for yourself, that learning to read and do math before a child is ready, (where abstract symbols represent other things) stunts creativity and fantasy, and childhood. All children learn to read and do math automatically themselves, around ages 8-14, but most commonly around 11-13 years old. Teaching children to read at age 5-6, which is the common practice, stunts a child’s brain, and creativity and imagination forever. Until the natural age to read, children are creative and fantastical and imaginative, and when their brains naturally switch to abstract in the pre-teens, with a completely evolved and hyper-driven creative and fantasy mind onboard, the combination of abstract reasoning combined with fantasy imagination goes ballistic. All parents have to do is love books and math and reading and solving problems themselves, (yes, turn off the TV), and have a house filled with books and love learning themselves, and your children will learn to read all by themselves without your help. They will probably become cutting edge authors and mathematicians and artists and creators, and not work at the shop or firm like us, and hooray for them.

So if the lives of our children and the future of our world is so important to us, then it’s time to levitate and travel on our PBJ’s, like gooey flying carpets, and travel to Super-Duper land of, “we can and will do anything we want to!” in our fantasies, until that very sacred and ecstatic private life becomes a reality. If we want to be smart and clever and prestigious and rich drones, like all the other obedient drones, then let us all sit down, shut up, pay attention, learn and regurgitate data, get a job, be somebody, and then we can all Potato in front of our boredom and fantasy and self evading devices like everyone else at the store or shop or firm or factory where we work. Aka, we can all do the best we can to salvage the self that was stolen from us when we stopped being ourselves in fantasy and imagination.

If you’ll excuse me, “Dac”, my supersonic, parallel reality traveling Pterodactyl just landed. It turns out all the bunnies in the Lear jet got pregnant and I have to go assist with the births. The truth is that my incensed Cheetah wife is faster than Dac, and I’m in big trouble again, so I have to flee. Pray she doesn’t catch me. Such is the life of a bored porn star that is sad and disappointed with his mundane life.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 76 - Global Peaceful Birth

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 76, March 16, 2012

***

The idea of having Peace is a very beautiful idea. “And Peace on Earth shall reign”. Peace can never “reign”, for Peace is not a hierarchical idea that controls or administers anything. Peace is the humility of equilateral equilibrium born of the result of acceptance and empathy. Peace is the fruit of compromise of many agreements and disagreements in practice, but Peace is a state of perfect psycho-emotional being that precedes any reality. Peace is actually never “uneasy”, for the easiest feeling and state in our hearts is Peace. An uneasy Peace is actually an uneasy lack of Peace, also known as a repression. Peace is the easiest state of all states of being.

We are capable of Peace to the extent that our hearts and state of selves live in Peace. Any of us born in a hospital are born in catatonic terror, and grotesque and feeling-less manipulation, and cruel abandonment of infants. No society or country or world will ever have Peace when all infants are ravaged and savaged in the hospital at birth, and all infants are ravaged and savaged in the hospital at birth. Those that are ravaged and savaged at birth can only build and live in a ravaged and savaged society of trauma and deprivation, and the living out of cruelty that was imprinted as first experience. Peace must start at the very beginning, and simply honor our natural state.

We all long for the idea of Peace, without having a true “feeling” of what Peace actually is. We watch television without Peace, read books without Peace, live lives without Peace, and behave and emote and interact without Peace, while holding dear to our hearts and world an existence of Peace. We look to our world leaders and governments and religions to strive for Peace, and we long to live in Peace, while no one has ever felt Peace or the peaceful state of Peace themselves.

Peace is not a “thing” that happens when there is a lack of tension and conflict, Peace is a state of inner heart experience that manifests outwards into reality from the inside out. Peace out there is impossible without the truth of Peace “in here”, deep within ourselves. Peace is not a philosophical idea, or a political notion, or an economic situation, Peace is the original and most natural state of self that exists, and self is a manifestation of the universe.

Were all meant to feel Peace in the womb, and the ecstasy of birth, followed by the Peace of looking into our Mother’s eyes for the first time, naked, skin to skin, while still connected to our Life cord. Our own Mother’s lack of self Peace while we were in the womb destroyed our Peace, just like it destroyed hers, coupled by a horrifically terrifying and trauma inducing hospital intervention birth, just like hers. When we emerged from her any hope of Peace was destroyed forever as we were treated as humanely as a pork slab, prodded and turned, washed and vacuumed, eyes burned, cold weighed, and then the death of cutting our cord without regard to the Peace of our Life that it represented to us. We and Peace died when we did not see HER, our Mother immediately, we and Peace died when we could not touch her skin, we and Peace died when we boys were taken away and psychotically shredded of the skin of our Penis without anesthesia, and in effect Peace shattered with the rage of “how could you”, and “what about me”, and the death of any hope of Peace died with the callous, unfeeling response of our parents and those that were present for our emergence into a world without Peace.

We will never see any semblance of Peace in our lifetimes, only the negotiations of states of repressed pain in stasis, until the next eruption of pain. Rage and anger and pain and aggression and cruelty and sadism and revenge are the true and natural states of our world, where newborn infants are managed no differently than a butcher manages his meat: infants who then simply grow up to rage and anger and pain and aggress and cruel and be sadistic as natural responses to the death and hate perpetrated at their birth and babyhood, and early childhood.

For a peaceful world we must begin with ourselves and recognize our inner states of terror and malaise and unhappiness, and at least if we are unable to face and heal our own sicknesses through therapy and grieving and mourning, do the best we can to insure a gentle and loving and peaceful beginning for our newborns. Mother and Father must make Love, and gestate Love, and birth Love, all in the same safe and loving place, the home. Birth must absolutely be of caresses and song and dance and ecstatic moaning, birth must be of intimacy and safety and trust, and privacy. Birth must be of Peace.

No woman who is not sick should ever be taken to a sick place full of scary, sterile walls and busy, stressed out, unfeeling people. She should never surrender to orders from strangers or ever, ever lay on her back for any man or woman to look up into the privacy of her Vagina and hope to “take out” her child. She should never surrender or ever be invaded. No Mother should ever hear a fetal heart monitor to call out the terror of her fetus that feels her terror, and no Mother should ever sell out to the need for drugs or epidurals or C- sections to ease her lack of Peace, meanwhile destroying any hopes she has of a joyous child or birth. Mother is perfectly designed to have a pain free birth if left to her own Peace and safety and privacy and intimacy, with her own natural hormonal pain killers that she secretes.

Mothers and Fathers hold the future of our world, and the hoped for Peace of our world right in their ovaries and testicles. Nature has perfected birth for a billion years, and no planned and peaceful and loving birth, with planned and peaceful and loving care, has ever ended in tragedy in history. Any woman afraid of pain and the responsibility of bringing an ecstatic and peaceful child into the world in her own ecstatic and loving bed, with her ecstatic and loving husband, should never have children. Violence and war and death and suffering begin where parents surrender their power and prowess to medical butchers, who are themselves victims of sadistic cruelty from their own births and treatment in infancy.

Peace is ours, it is our natural state. Pregnancy and childbirth and early infancy are beautifully and naturally the honoring and valuing of peace, and peace is absolutely safe. Every human heart that is pure knows what a pure and perfect beginning is, unless that human heart had a less than peaceful beginning, in which case we return to the butcher that does not feel the regard for the spirit that he chops up and wraps up for sale.

It is time for Peace, and Peace is the most gentle pregnancy and gestation and birth and early childhood possible. And it starts with you. Now multiply that times 6 billion, and you have what we will call Peace on Earth. Let’s get started.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com