Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
103 April 12, 20112
Will
Swinging Save Or Destroy A Marriage?
Part
1
Swinging
is the term for NSA (or No Strings Attached) sexual activity with other people,
when you are in a relationship or marriage as a couple. Of course there are many single participants
in Swinging, but they are lone men and women that engage in sex or benefit from
or prey on the availability of random, promiscuous sex with couples, mostly
single men engaging in sex with the wives and girlfriends of other men. In the
1960’s, with the sudden and promiscuous explosion of free sexuality, Swinging
was originally called “wife swapping”.
Though today the euphemism
“Swinging” doesn’t favor any gender, in truth “Swinging” is still about wives
and girlfriends and women. When there
are no women, or where no women are participating sexually, there is no sex,
and no Swinging. Swinging is sex with
people with whom you have no relationship or don’t even know, and without the sexual
contact with others, Swinging is just socializing. If you are a husband or boyfriend, Swinging is
when your wife or girlfriend has sex with other guys and girls, mostly guys, that
she and you are not in a relationship with, and or do not know, and you are
present and watch and get off on the sex, or participate sexually, or are not
present when they engage in sex and get off on this. Swinging, if you are a wife or girlfriend, is when your
husband or boyfriend has sex with other guys or girls, mostly girls, that he and you are not in a relationship
with, and or do not know, and you are present and watch the sex and get off on
it, or participate sexually, or are not present when they engage in sex, but
get off on this. Let’s be honest, because Swinging is not kindergarten or
church or dinner with the in laws, Swinging is a euphemism for couples who fuck
other couples or singles, or get fucked by other couples or singles. Swinging
is about fucking. For the rest of this
many part essay I will use the slang and derogatory terminology of dark sex and
Swinging, and not the “proper” or literary language that for the purpose of
these essay would be misleading.
Every person in the world
has sexual deviances, sexual perversions, sexual fetishes, sexual dreams,
sexual fantasies, and unfulfilled sexual needs, and generally sexual issues.
Previous to the age of sexual liberation of men and women (mostly women), the
sexual paradigm was repressed and hidden and taboo, and lived out secretly and
behind closed doors, in the underground of counter culture, or publicly as an
immoral and even criminal sensation for all.
It has always been the
paradigm of men to “sow their oats” and live out their sexualities as single
sexual participants, and then enter into a permanent sexual and monogamous relationship
once they have “matured”, when in fact men have always sewn oats any time they
want. It is now the supposed modern paradigm for women also to go through a
promiscuous coming of age stage, and then forever hide it afterwards in her “maturity”.
In truth no one matures sexually in terms of acting out deviant sexuality,
since this requires long term successful psychotherapy, or long term and
successful grieving of childhood trauma.
The very best that all of us can do is repress and deny and try to
forget our promiscuous and perverted sexualities when we were young, and “tow
the line” of our betrothals in our monogamy, and obey societal and religious
mass morality in our sexual behavior with our spouses or girlfriends and
boyfriends. This is most common for
married women, as our society holds double standard for male and female
sexuality to this day. The gains and
repercussions are not equal for husbands and wives, but different. The gains and repercussions are no less
powerful and damaging and beneficial for both men and women.
In truth, all deviant
sexuality surfaces in all monogamous relationships, especially in men in an
obviously fashion, but no less in women in a more subdued and hidden way, and
in betrothed monogamy, our deviant sexuality is supposed to be “lived out”
prior to marriage, and when it surfaces afterwards it is normally repressed or
hidden or it secretly continues unbeknownst to the other partner, or both. Repressed
sexuality in any person is a recipe for disaster, it is a recipe for sexual perversion
and criminality, for personal and societal problems, for depression and
violence, for rape and suicide. For
couples, sexual repression is simply a time bomb for unhappiness, for incest
and criminal deviance, for domestic abuse, and finally the dissolution of the
marriage in divorce and the murder-suicide scenes that we see on the news every
day. Our sexual libido is lava, and we are the volcanoes. Hot, molten, eroticized pain, that cannot
flow, will eventually erupt or blow up in some way. Humans are volcanic sexuality,
and monogamous relationships are double and even exponential volcanic sexuality,
in one way or another.
In Swinging, we are once
again opened up vis a vis our partners to our real and more honest sexualities,
and within a loving relationship with another, we are once again able to be
“sow our oats”, including and especially women, since men already have their
limited freedom in sexual deviance, even within relationships. In Swinging we are once again sexually single
and free again, and infinitely better, we are also coupled and in Love and have
support for our deviant acts. Swinging
is a seeming sexy dream for couples. In
Swinging, we are trusted and respected by our partners to be sexually deviant, and
mutually and consensually manifest our sexual fetishes and fantasies and issues. We solemnly agree with our partners in mutual
respect and consensuality to live out our sexual unfulfilled needs, our sexual
dreams and fetishes and fantasies, and to not judge or betray each other.
This arrangement can be the
most exciting, the sexiest, and the most liberating and relationship building
thing we can ever do together in a couple. It is also the riskiest thing we
will ever do as a couple. It is said in Swinging that Swinging makes or breaks
a relationship, and in a way that is not really safe or smart, that is true. There
is a lot more to Swinging than any Swinger anywhere in the world is aware of,
or is admitting. The way current
Swinging is viewed and practiced worldwide by all, Swinging breaks all
relationships, all the time, even if the couple stays together. Swinging, the
way it is viewed and practiced worldwide, is a lie. Virtually all relationships
are broken eventually in regards to true sexuality anyway, so Swinging can
either speed up the process to divorce, or break a stale and dead relationship,
or break a shallow and false relationship, or break a selfish and using and
dependent relationship faster than time would do anyway. The question is whether Swinging will save or
destroy a marriage or relationship.
To be continued tomorrow in part 2.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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