Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
105 April 14, 2012
Will
Swinging Save Or Destroy A Marriage?
Part
3
Every little girl longs to
find her true and one and only Prince, who only loves her and only makes love
to her, and a Prince that only wants her to love him and make love to him, and
every little girl is inside of every grown woman. Every little boy longs to find his true and
one and only Princess, to only love him and make love to him, and a Princess that
only wants him to love her and make love to her, and every little boy is inside
of every grown man. No healthy little
girl or healthy little boy in history, now or ever, has ever wanted two Mommies
or two Daddies (and our sexual partners are our Mommies and Daddies in our
psyches and hearts), and no child in history has ever wanted to see their
Mommies with another man, or their Daddies with another woman. We are those little boys and girls, and the
sights and acts of other Mommies and Daddies (other people) sexually on top of
or sexually beneath our own Mommy or Daddy (our husband or wife), causes us
great pain.
When we grow up these sexual
sights and acts will cause us great pleasure, as what hurts as a child becomes
erotic as an adult to prevent these catastrophic childhood memories from
surfacing. This is normal and natural
and universal human behavioral defensiveness, and unavoidable. When this pain is eroticized in adulthood to
make us feel sexy pleasure, we actually get off sexually on what hurts. Swinging is getting off sexually against, or getting
off on our partners against us, to cause us pleasure (eroticized pain) so as to
“get off” perversely sexually, and we are in fact defending ourselves from deep
trauma by shocking ourselves with a mini repeat of what happened to us. Sexual
fetishes are the buzzy, kinky, sexy repeat of pain that has turned pleasurable,
to remind us mentally and defensively of what hurts, like a preemptive strike
upon a city with bombs as a deterrent from the nukes coming out, or pouring
salt in a wound on our arm and saying “oh yeah!” at the sting, as a defense
from an amputation of the arm.
Enjoying sexually eroticized,
childhood pain in sex IS our deviant sexuality, and when we engage other people
we are in fact sexually rebelling against our parents, and sexually punishing
our parents, and sexually retaliating against our parents, and sexually victimizing
our parents, and perversely, sexually enjoying it, through other people as
proxies. We also are receiving sexual rebellion
from our parents, and receiving sexual punishment from our parents, and
receiving sexual retaliation from our parents, and sexual victimization by our
parents, and perversely enjoying it sexually, though other people as proxies.
Sex and sexuality and our
turn ons are about power, who has it and who doesn’t, and who wields it in
dominance, and who receives it in submission, and Swinging is the fetish of playing
out these childhood sexual power “tapes” that we downloaded from our parents, but
using proxy people in the present. These are “tapes” that were recorded during
our womb life and birth and early baby and childhood. In Swinging we are using
our partners as proxies and voodoo dolls to play out repeats of what is in our deep psyche, and every wife or girlfriend
represents Mommy or Mommy’s lover or rival in a man’s deep psyche from
childhood, whether he is conscious of it or not. Every husband or boyfriend represents Daddy
or Daddy’s lover or rivals in her deep psyche, whether she is conscious of it
or not.
Swinging can be very helpful
and fruitful and enlightening as an unprecedented, crazy and nasty and sexy and erotic tool to get
off sexually and spice up our marriage and relationships, but eventually the
reality of what we are doing will begin to seep into our consciousness.
Eventually we dredge up and trigger deep womb and birth and baby and early
childhood experience and imprinting, but that means eventually that Swinging
can be a very helpful and fruitful and triggering, enlightening way to dredge
up and trigger deep pain. What is
fruitful about this is that feeling and processing pain if we are able to do
that, causes healing, and especially the healing of sexual deviance. If Swinger he and Swinger she are expecting
deep trauma from childhood to surface, and if he and she are trained to cry and
grieve these traumas and integrate the pain, then the perverse drive is eventually
felt as pain and healed, and in the end the Swinging and perversion ends. Swinging can actually in the end become
therapeutic and healing, but it is doubtful that anyone has made it this far,
as the pain that surfaces is overwhelming and terrifying, and it is natural to
pin it on our proxy partners in the present, and very difficult to face the
real culprits, our Mommies and Daddies.
Ironically, Swinging can be
a perverse and deviant sexual method to get off like perverts in an erotic way,
while eventually causing deep repressed pain to surface that we can grieve as
pain instead of eroticized pleasure, which eventually heals the perversion and
deviance. But this is very, very risky. Proper Swinging, and perhaps never
actually ever effected, can be a powerful method to healing deep womb and birth
and early childhood trauma that is sexually imprinted, by causing deep early
infant pain to surface, which can be felt and integrated. The danger is that we
are blind in our actual pain triggers until they surface, and that we are using
innocent people that we love in the present, or innocent strangers, who
represent our parents that devastated us in our past. If we mistake the present
for the past, and if we mistake these persons in the present for our sick, perverted,
sexually deviant parents that actually caused the damage, in effect we destroy
ourselves and our partners, and our relationships and marriages. This would be
tragic since are truly innocent. Swinging is usually a self and relationship
and marriage destroyer, as one or both partners inevitably blame each other in
the present for pain from each other’s childhood, and the original sick and
sexually perverted parents laugh all the way to the bank as they are never
caught for the original robbery.
All Swingers act like promiscuous
sluts, both he and she, by all perspectives and definitions, personal,
religious, moral, and societal. In truth
we all have the promiscuous slut inside of us, this is completely normal and
natural, and that does not mean that we ARE sluts. Any person who represses or feels or acts out
promiscuous, slutty, sexual behavior has or had a slutty Mommy or Daddy in one
way or another, for it is completely impossible to have a “good” Mommy or
“nice” Daddy, and have sexual problems in denial or repression, or act it out
in slutty promiscuity and Swinging. Just because our parents didn’t act out
their sexual deviance for us to see or know about does not mean that they were
not sick or wounded. Sexually repressed
people, especially women, can be more lethal sexually by what they feel and
express, and don’t do sexually then their acts. We are simply recipients and
victims of our parents and what happened to us, and the worst thing that any
person can do is to idealize and protect our parents from the responsibility of
our deviances and problems. The question
is whether Swinging can save or destroy a marriage or relationship.
To be continued tomorrow in part 4
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
No comments:
Post a Comment