Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
118 April 27, 2012
Ugh
To The Ages Of Sages!
Today was one of those
maintenance days for me of just running around doing the things I needed to do
to maintain my life of running around doing the things I need to do to maintain
my life . . . . ugh! I would like to
boast that I was one with the moment the whole day since I am a life muse for
people that run around missing life doing the things that they need to do to
maintain their lives of running around doing the things they need to do . . . and then say ugh, and then hire me to
help. Who is going to help me? I hate errands and I hate stop lights more
and I hate traffic even double more and I extra, extra hate Miss Mun Dane
behind the counter that is so slow and Mr. Bo Ring employee in the aisle that
doesn’t know where anything is. Someone
gag me with a big, dull spoon so I can feel something that isn’t just
appropriate, anxious stewing in a pressure cooker. Uber ugh!
In truth I am so grateful
for all the people out there in chop wood and carry water land, all keeping our
lives somewhat glued together and sorta functional. Thank you.
But could I just offer one little thing after this long errand day? Can
you just get out of my f-ing way and shift at least into second gear just for
me? How about 2.5 miles an hour past the speed limit? I promise I won’t call the feared SS patrol
on you. Can you be the best at what you do and know everything just for
me? You see I am special, and I deserve
all the expedient and competent attention you can spare, and I only expect you
to spare all of it, and did I mention NOW, NOW, NOW! (ugh). Ok fancy pants or fancy robed Buddha,
I was indeed one with the shitty moment most of the day, and now we can sit
down and meditate, and when you close your eyes I’m going to sneak over and
strangle you just for a bit to ease the tension of my day. I’m absolutely sure that age old sages and
gurus never had Walmart Supercenters or their super-duper staff to help them,
let alone rush hour traffic to the Bodhi tree.
I am so proud of myself in
the last many months at my progress towards enlightenment, but today I slipped
back most of the way just seething revenge at bully truck drivers, and quietly yelling
many “fucks” at the not so innocent people hindering my progress all day. What
ever happened to Yes and Easy and No Problem?
Why did all the problems of the world fall only on me and only today,
and all at the same time? If there is a God, then I was not singled out as a
chosen one today, except to offer him or her sick humor at nicely foiling all
my hopes and plans. If there isn’t a
god, then I proved Darwin absolutely correct at demonstrating the survival of
our species as the most adapted maniac this side of Kilimanjaro. If it weren’t for my cold beer at the end of
the day and the laughter of my kids listening to my harrowing day, I might have
actually had a bad day.
In truth there never has
been anyone on our planet anywhere near true peace or enlightenment, and
especially not several thousand years ago. All of our great philosophers and
prophets and supposed sons of gods or speakers of the word of god were merely
men and (clever and ironic huh, that they are never women, the smartest of us
all) just ordinary dudes chopping wood and carrying water, and running around
doing the things they needed to do, just like us. What then makes them so special as to be able
to speak to us through the ages as sages?
The truth is they were really, really intelligent, really, really
observant, really, really practiced, and really, really progressive. These
smart people lived and suffered, and these people paid attention and
progressed, and then repeated really living and paying attention and
progressing. Rather than progressing in
distance or height or achievements or money or power, these people progressed
in ideas of the life, and of love, ideas of the heart, and ideas of absolute
presence to the end of the absence of ideas.
In truth these very evolved
but ordinary, legendary icons were just very evolved but ordinary people, and
only sages and prophets for reminding us what we already all know, what we were
born with, and what we all desire to return to. These clever dudes were clever
dudes that bought up the whole board in monopoly before us, went to jail before
us, went broke before us, passed Go before us, and repeated it all again while
we were still getting up for breakfast and hurling frustrations at everyone
else for our shortcomings. Sadly, and
obvious to the sentient human heart and trained ear and eye, these ordinary
prophets and sages and invented sons of invented gods were only men, while
their wives and mothers had all the real wisdom. All male sages know very well
that they kneel before the truth and enlightenment found at the bosom of the
feminine, and that real power and oneness in Life is measured by the time and
distance from the ovaries to the emergence out into life through Her vulva. And
all men, from the most backwards to the most enlightened, carries with him the joy
and pain within Her, and the joy and pain from within Her to a life joy and
pain where we men cannot live without Her, and everything in between in
reference to Her.
I am in great pain and
grieving daily to recover the Love and Peace and enlightenment that I had but
lost in my journey from embryo to almost 50 year old man, and I possess far
less pain than any man experienced and carried thousands of years ago. Our spiritual leaders of old simply traveled
further spiritually in one lifetime than ever before in history, from abject
poverty and cruelty and hatred towards Love and towards Peace and towards Oneness
in one lifetime. But these men never got there fully, and these men were by no
means trauma free or deprivation free or need free, or anywhere near
enlightened. None of the prophets or
sages spoke truly or really about Her, and they were therefore in deep pain
from Her, and totally mistaken about their teachings and preachings. If there
ever was a time for sages and prophets and heroes of religion and spirituality,
it is now, and it will always be tomorrow, for the ancients were and are the
primitives of old. We are in the age of
the feminine, the true age, and we are now the sages and prophets and sons and
daughters of God, to the level of the emancipation from the tyranny of invented
belief systems like God. We are of Her.
Life is good everybody,
despite all our frustrations and negative feelings and days we may have, and
sadly not all citizens of Earth have the luxury to say or feel that. Let’s
please all do something about that. But happiness is coming for all, or nuclear
evaporation, whichever comes first. Day by day we put our foot forward and our
bodies and hearts follow, one day at a time, day after day. Little by little it is our hearts that are
leading, and our clumsy feet and minds and bodies correctly obey our true
Godliness and our true enlightenment, our beautifully simple, loving hearts.
Today I lived out the pain still in my heart from so many sad and bad days as
an innocent child at the hands of my parents and yours and our world, but I am
far healthier on my worst day than any sage, prophet or supposed son of
supposed god could have felt thousands of years ago. Just imagine a soul that
can begin in our age of miracle children, and travel spiritually inward through
suffering and overcoming issues of the heart and going the distance that the
ancient prophets traveled. They and we will go far beyond anything we could
ever imagine, and it is happening right before our eyes. As corny as it sounds it is happening right
in the aisles of Walmart Supercenters and every other place.
I would like to repeat that
I am deeply grateful to all the people out there doing their best under difficult
circumstances in chop wood and carry water land. Thank you. I am embarrassed and humbled by my
own angry folly again, and happy to regain one small step of enlightenment by humbly
grieving the pain that I caused others to feel today. I don’t get to pass Go today, while Miss Mun
Dane and Mr. Bo Ring, my actual heroes,
go whizzing right by. I salute them, and
all you prophets and sages, or at least anyone who had a mother.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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