Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Day 115 - Patience And Love Please Mommy And Daddy


Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 115 April 24, 2012

Patience And Love Please Mommy And Daddy

This morning I was really trying to enjoy my favorite weak coffee and my delicious vegetarian eggs benedict at a roadside café, when I was interrupted by a young couple who were taking turns abusing their little 4 year old son “Brandon”.  I really felt sorry for adorable Brandon at the hand of these two ogre parents.  The scene immediately caused me to remember how many times you and I have been victims of our own ogre parents, and how many times we have been ogres with our own innocent little children. Yes, I know you saw me those times that I acted like a damn fool with my kids, and yes, I was there too when you did those things you regret with your children.  The truth is that we are all in a lot of pain from what happened to us as children at the hands of our parents and caregivers, and it is true that we end up letting our pain out on our own powerless and helpless children, exactly like everything was let out on us.  The truth is there is no excuse for how we were treated as children, and no excuse for how we treat our own children. The truth is that we all should be ashamed of ourselves, and we must stop immediately our abusive treatment, both overt and silent, and both subversive and degrading, of our beautiful little innocent children that love us so much.
“Brandon, what is wrong with you?  Why can’t you sit still”?  And then the Dad glared at him in the eyes like a laser beam glares at the steel which it is melting.
Never, never glare at your children in the eyes with anger, or rage, or hatred, or any other strong, negative emotion, for any reason. The eyes are the window into the soul, and meanness driven into the soul of your child through the eyes deeply wounds your children and breaks their hearts.  This Dad was obviously deeply abused when he was a little boy in the same way, and this Dad passes his own pain onto his own sweet little boy, like it was passed on to him when he was a sweet little boy, and this is devastating.  This Dad is effectively a coward, for he would not look at a full grown unlimited cage fighter in the eyes the same way unless he wants one of his arms broken. He only does it to a helpless, defenseless 4 year old boy because he can get away with it,  and sadly he does it to his own little child that deeply loves him unconditionally.  Never, never glare at your children in the eyes!
Of course children can’t sit still, this is an inherent beauty of childhood, and it is wonderful and it never needs to be addressed. When energetic and passionate young children are left to be children for 20 years with total love and support, they will eventually become calm and graceful adults, with lots of patience to respect and admire the spirit of their own future children.  Mom and Dad should have taken little Brandon outside to run and play and laugh while the meal was on its way, and Mom and Dad should have made Brandon and his immaturities and needs paramount over their own, with gentility and love, or they should have never had a child.  Have patience with your children for 20 years or so, and let them be children for 20 years or so, for they and childhood are beautiful and wonderful.
Never, never say “what is wrong with you” to any person, let alone a child, and especially your own child.  The only person that has something wrong with them is the person that says “what is wrong with you” to another person. The statement is arrogant, and demeaning, and suggests that there is something “wrong” with your child.  There is nothing wrong with your child, for your child is an angel of Love doing his or her best simply to grow up with a real messed up parent, yes you and me, and they need all the respect and kindness we can muster. Everyone makes mistakes, and childhood is in fact a 20 year adventure of making mistakes, and all mistakes are welcome all the time for children, for it is part of simply living and learning and growing up for a child.  Any person that tries to make another person  feel bad or less or at fault, let alone a child,  with a statement like “what is wrong with you” is a coward and an ogre.  This kind of parenting injures, and creates anger and shame and rebellion in children, just like it caused in us when our own idiot parents acted so poorly  I dare Dad to say that same phrase to the cage fighter again, and now he will have two broken arms instead of just one.  Never, never make statements like this to any person, especially your own child. 
“Brandon, how many times have I told you not to crumble up your crackers and throw them!  Now you aren’t going to get your hotdog!”  And them Mom looked at her little 4 year old boy, and she shook her head from side to side, and rolled her eyes.
Never, never insult or mock or patronize another person with head shaking and eye rolling, or any other negative body language, especially your own child. This behavior is immature and cruel, and when a woman does this to any child she injures them.  This Moms was obviously deeply abused when she was a little girl in the same way, and this Mom passes her own pain onto her own sweet little boy, like it was passed on to her when she was a sweet little girl, and this is devastating.for her child and she breaks his heart.  When a mother does this to her own son she teaches him anger and rage at the female, and she is the creator of a future misogynist. This Mom is a coward, for she would have never treated her husband like this on their first date, or any man ever, if she didn’t want a black and blue eye, or worse. Never, never insult and degrade a person with arrogant and demeaning statements like “how many times have I told you” to any adult unless you want another black and blue eye or worse, and never, never to a child or to your own innocent angels that are in truth trying so hard, just like you were when you were abused by your parents.
Of course Brandon plays with his food and makes messes, that is what childhood is all about, and it is priceless and beautiful.  Brandon is only 4 years old!  This issue does not need to be addressed, for if left to be a happy and demonstrative child, happily for 20 years, eventually he will become a graceful and mannered adult.  If Brandon is acting out against Mommy and Daddy, it is because Mommy and Daddy are being  unfair or abusive with Brandon, and they deserve it.  There is no such thing as a bad child, only bad parents, and so Mom and Dad need to have 20 years of loving patience with their son who loves them unconditionally, while they examine their own parental ogredom at treating a 4 year old so badly.
Never, never use food as a weapon for punishment with any person, and especially a child. Food is a sacred need and necessity, and using food or lack of food as discipline is sadistic. Afterwards Mom and Dad forgot their disgraceful threats and a whole new round of underhanded insults and abuses followed with trying to get Brandon to eat his hotdog, and trying to get Brandon to clean up his mess, and trying to get Brandon to not scream out loud and sing and basically embarrass them in the café, behaviors that would fill 10 more pages of this essay.
It is clearly not these poor young parents’ faults that they are hideous people and hideous parents, for both of their own parents on both sides were or are hideous ogres to have raised people that could be that heartless and abusive to any person, let alone their own 4 year old, and in front of a full café no less, without even noticing their cruelties.  I noticed that few people made any notice of the tragic scene, and of the hateful crushing of poor little Brandon. Imagine a world filled with you and me that survived thousands of these scenes from our sick parents and society, and imagine a world where we treat our children this way, to one degree or another, every single day.  We are all victims of wounded cowards that mistreat the weak and helpless, and we have become wounded cowards who mistreat the weak and helpless.  Imagine a world where there are millions of full grown  6’ tall 200 lbs with Brandons with muscles, who are ragefully hateful without knowing why, and going off to war to kill without knowing why.  I think you get the idea.  Patience and Love please Mommy and Dadddy.

See you tomorrow.


yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

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