Musings
From The Heart
An
Essay A Day For A Year
By
Roe
Day
106 April 15, 2012
Will
Swinging Save Or Destroy A Marriage?
Part
4
In Swinging, the rewards and
excitements are exhilarating, and no couple enjoys sexual pleasure on the light
and dark side, and sexual enjoyment on the loving and nasty, eroticized side,
like an advanced Swinging couple. What
person doesn’t want total sexual freedom with total support and protection? It
is liberating and intoxicating. The problem is that both partners are ALWAYS
setting up and trapping and testing the other partner, while also descending
into consensual, sexual perversion and sexual deviance. This is a conflict that is a real bomb, and heart and
relationship breaker. The ultimate test for him by her is: “Does he love only
me and trust only me and respect me and want only me or not? Is he a real prince or real asshole?” The ultimate test for her by him is: “Is she
good and chaste and pure and mine and only mine or not? Or is she a real
Princess or a real slut?” No one can avoid these set ups and tests and traps,
as these are normal, innate, inner psychological and emotional childhood
survival mechanisms in every person, whether we admit it or know it or not. This
is happening every time every Swinger touches every other person every time,
whether the Swinger admits it or knows it or not.
Swinging is therefore an
inherent lie and betrayal since the beginning, hidden in ignorance and denial
and unconsciousness, with both partners swearing and promising things and
vowing things that simply cannot be honored later, because the perspective and
experience and entire paradigm shifts when the pain surfaces. What we did and have done to and with each
other and others will eventually become the classic betrayal and flip-flop and
“I knew it!” that the whole perverted affair is designed for in our psyches,
from the beginning, and this is what we are trying unconsciously to provoke in
our partners from the beginning. But couples can survive all this if they can expect
the pain, and realize that they are only triggers for earlier pain in each
other, and if they can grieve this pain and the earlier pain, and place it where
it belongs (in childhood). If the couple
can do this they reach unprecedented levels of trust and health and Love,
absolutely impossible for the traditional, repressed and mundane relationship
in sexual denial or sexual restraint.
Swinging is in fact a method
of sexually getting our jollies, and using other people to do it, simple as
that. When we Swing, we are getting off
on sexual deviance and fetish that is buried deeply in our psyche, and we are not
aware of the pain driving it, and we use innocent people in the present to do
it, and dangerously, people we love. We are using people in the present as
dolls and scape goats to recreate our childhood situations, and this thrills
us, and in effect we are sexually taunting and punishing our partners or
participants in the present and loving it, or sexually getting taunted and punished
by our partners or participants in the present and loving it, while in
actuality acting out against and in victimization of and from our parents
regarding events in our deep past.
In terms of self
exploration, and self realization, and self evolution, there is no
psychological or emotional method or tool more revelatory and productive than
Swinging, since sexuality is our core identity, if one is prepared for the pain, and trained
to grieve it and integrate it. In terms
of couple exploration and couple realization and couple evolution, there is no
psychological or emotional method or tool more revelatory or productive than
Swinging, if the couple is prepared for the pain, and trained to grieve it and
integrate it. This method and tool is
designed by our inner children, who are in pain, to be toxic and mortal and
unsurvivable. But our inner children are
trapped in the past and do not know that we can all heal the pain of our womb
life and births and babyhood and childhoods. The couple that can trigger and
face and outgrow their own childhood trauma and acting out and traps through
Swinging, can ascend to true Love, that is not robotic from Mom and Dad and TV and
church and society, and reach an unprecedented Love and relationship far beyond
Mr. and Mrs. Proper who have the same problems, but are in sexual denial and
sexual restraint.
The real danger of Swinging
is the couple (all couples), that lie to themselves and deny themselves and
each other, the persons in a couple that are devious, and the persons or couple
that are ignorant, or misinformed, or simply wreckless and uncaring or in fact
hurtful or harmful. If any person in a
marriage or relationship really wants to know what their partner is or is like,
Prince or asshole or man whoremonger, or Princess or slut, or lady or whore,
Swinging will open up that Pandora’s box very quickly, and the snakes will be
everywhere. But be careful, for the truth is that we are all innocent and
loving children at heart, and the real and original
Prince-asshole-man-whoremonger is the Daddy of both partners, and the real and
original Princess-slut-lady-whore is the Mommy of both partners, and let us not
let our parents that already succeeded in hurting us succeed in driving away
our lovers and soul-mates and spouses in the present, for something that
happened a very long time ago in the past.
Our parents are also innocent children at heart, and were used and hurt
and victimized as well by their parents. It is time that we face these issues
and try and heal them. The question is whether Swinging will save or destroy a
marriage or relationship.
To be continued tomorrow in part 5
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
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