Musings From The Heart
An Essay A Day For A Year
By Roe
Day 93 April 2, 2012
Human Sexuality
All animal species on the planet have a “sexuality”. Nature’s idea of course is making “whoopy”, with the motive and intent and outcome of basic survival. We humans are also survivalists, and as it seems do “it” better than any other species. What we do better than any other species is be aware of our being, and be aware of how that affects our lives, most importantly how it affects our sexuality. When all species of creatures mate, they do an oingy and a boingy, and it is the same oingy and boingy that their daddies and mommies did and have done for millennia of millennia. Procreation is genetic and hereditary and instinctual. If humans mated in alleys like cats and parks like dogs and meadows like bunnies, we would all be quite abashed, being aware of our sexuality and having the power to control it, yet behaving like cats and dogs and bunnies. Humans in fact mate in such ways and at such times as to easily cause any cat or dog or bunny to be abashed, if the cats or dogs or bunnies could be conscious of such acts and deeds.
Human sexuality is in fact a direct relative of all sexuality, from one celled organisms that “did it” with themselves the first time, right through to any mammal that comes into heat and procreates obediently to Nature’s call. Human sexuality is also above and beyond any sexuality on the planet, and becoming aware of our pain-pleasure response, coupled with 24/7 times 365 days of possible mating availability, has given us unprecedented conscious power. Our ability to “Love”, and covet Love, and express Love sexually whenever we want to is our dominant humanity over all other species, for consciousness of self is consciousness of Love, and consciousness of sexual procreation is THE power of Love that is beyond instinctual obedience.
Only humans have the ability to express pain and pleasure, happiness and unhappiness, sadness and anger, elevation and degradation, and 100 other moods and expressions, through sexuality. Sexuality is the primary human system of memory and expression of self and our histories as living creatures. When we are in our mother’s womb, our experiences are encoded or engraved in our brand new psycho-emotional memory banks, and the monumental event of birth is imprinted like a frenetic Richter scale during an earth quake. Our experiences in the womb are 10 times more significant than our birth experiences, and our birth experiences are 10 times more impactful then the moments after birth, and the first minute after birth is 10 times more important than the second minute, and so on and so on. This is because our psycho-emotional memory experience system is brand new, and we are literally laying the map by which our entire life will follow. Sadly these times are so traumatic and are repressed so deeply that we cannot remember any of it. We are guided our whole lives by what we have amnesia about since our birth. Our sexuality is our most accessible window into our deep psyche.
Everything is relative to our first experiences, and our first experiences determine our entire lives. The part of our psycho-emotional heart-brain where all these experiences are recorded is the exact same location which is the seat of our sexuality. Everything that happens to us in the womb and during birth, and during the first few hours and days, encodes and imprints our sexualities. Every aspect of our parents’ sexualities, good and bad, every repression and perversion, every sad and disappointing event, is instantly downloaded by the world’s most advanced super computer (us as a baby), the moment we lock hearts and minds and eyes with our parents. We become the sexualities of our parents, combined with our own uterine and birth and early imprint experiences.
Human sexuality is about pleasure, not obedience to Nature’s cycles. We are definitely obedient to Nature’s cycles, and lustful libido is in fact the most powerful force in the universe, but we like to think that we are smarter than just kitty and doggy and bunny. Human sexuality is about sexual fetish, and sexual fetish is about our specific “turn ons”, and what gives us pleasure, or when speaking of dark fetish and dark sexual pleasure, what gives us pain. Human sexuality and sexual fetish is about what makes us feel good sexually, and what makes us feel bad sexually, which is equally if not more pleasurable. All humans have a sexual fetish, and in fact many sexual fetishes. Human sexuality is about power, who has the power and who doesn’t, and who wields the power and who doesn’t. In Human sexuality there is always a dominant power, and always a submissive power, and our ability to give and receive pleasure and pleasurable pain depends where we find ourselves on the power scale at any given time, and that depends on our original sexual imprint with our parents when we were babies. We humans mostly get off on the things that are dark in our sexuality.
To speak in black and white, there are only two ways to Love sexually, and that is to elevate, and to degrade. When a human couple begins the sexual act there is immediately an establishment of sexual hierarchy, and he assesses where his female lover is on the scale of her own personhood, and where she is on the scale of power vis a vis himself. She also as lover assesses where he is on the scale of his own personhood, and where he falls in reference to her own level of dominance or submission. Next the establishment of power is determined, who is dominant and who is submissive. The human sexual act is a performance of one powering over another, which hopefully gives both pleasure as each follow their own fetish, and of moving the hierarchical scale of personhood to elevation or degradation. When the couple is finished making Love or finished fucking, it is clear who “took” who, and who was “taken” by whom, or who did what to whom, or had what done to whom. This is the dominant or submissive side of their sex act. When the female lover walks out the door, she either feels “elevated” by his Love, or she feels “degraded” by his fucking, or when he walks out the door, he either feels “elevated” by her Love, or “degraded” by her fucking. How we feel pleasure during sex depends on how we imprinted our own sexualities and the sexualities of our parents when we were babies, and most of us in fact feel the most pleasure by being submissive and degraded, or dominant and degrading. This is the norm for most of us, and it has roots to all of our tragic beginnings and the questionable sexual health of our parents.
There is no right or wrong to human sexuality as a mutual and consensual and pleasurable act between two lovers or fuckers. As far as Nature is concerned any act that creates a baby is a victory, no matter how beautiful or sick. As far as religion or spirituality is concerned, only the human heart can guide us, and when 99% of our sexuality is repressed in traumatic birth and infant trauma, and the sexual sickness of our parents, our human heart misleads. We then turn to invented and contrived artificial belief systems such as organized religion to guide us, which are in themselves historically warped and perverted sexual power structures that are even more manipulated than ourselves. Our best way to learn of ourselves and our sexual imprint histories is to practice our sexualities with conscious awareness, with mutual support and consent.
Light and beautiful and Loving sex is elevating, and both partners leave the room taller and more elevated than when they entered. This is the human heart striving for Love and beauty and redemption and devotion and which leads to exclusive and mutually devoted sexuality. Dark and dirty and denigrating sex is degrading, and both partners leave the room lower and less than when they entered. This is the human psycho-emotional memory system working as a defensive system to protect deep trauma and deprivation by living it out in repeat, like a preemptive shock system. This kind of sex is the most common of all human sexuality, both out on the streets of human perversion, and within relationships. Dark and dirty sex is not dark and dirty at all, but it gives us pleasure to feel dark and dirty, based on how we were treated dark and dirty as babies and children regarding sex. Dark sex is eroticized pain, where early childhood events that are painful excite us when we become adults. This is the most common form of human sexuality, including within relationships. Dark and dirty sex and submissive degrading sex are test systems from one to another to either “chase away” the wrong person in our search for a mate, or in the case of passing the light-dark sex test, find our own true sex-soul mate.
Women make Love to the men who make them feel loved, and this may not even be the man that she is attracted to depending on her own imprints as a child. Women enjoy fucking men who make them feel degraded, and this may even be the man that she is attracted to and marries depending on her own imprints as a baby. It is commonplace for women to fall in Love with dark men who tickle the dark sides of their sexualities in a submissive and degrading way, and then spend the relationship trying to change and redeem the man to be the elevating Lover she dreams of, no different than the unhealthy and unfulfilled pattern of her own parents.
Men make Love to the women who make them feel Loved, and this may not even be the woman that his is attracted to depending on his own imprints as a child. Men really love to fuck women who they can degrade, and this may even be the woman that he is attracted to and marries, depending on his own imprints as a baby. It is commonplace for men to fall in Love with dark women who tickle the dark sides of their sexualities in a dominant and degrading way, and then spend the rest of the relationship trying to change or redeem the woman to the elevating Lover that he dreamed of, no different than the unhealthy and unfulfilled pattern of her own parents.
Of course there are also dominant women and submissive men, and degrading women and men who love to be degraded. In a healthy relationship both partners realize that it is normal to develop and have both a dominant and submissive side, and they alternate, and it is normal to sometimes elevate and sometimes degrade, and they alternate. In a healthy relationship both partners realize that we are all seriously fucked up regarding sexuality in our pleasure denying socio-religious paradigm, especially sexually since these are our first experiences from parents who are even more fucked up then us, both mom and dad, and both the parents of he and she. In a healthy relationship neither partner clings to false and misleading “organized” morality of any kind, and both partners trust each other enough to use sexuality as THE expression of humanity, designed to “express”, our various states of being, with mutual and consensual pleasure, no matter how, and them learn and grow through it.
Human sexuality, both dark and light, is an expression of Love, both dark and light Love, and it is meant to be an expression of self learning and self healing, and ultimately a joining of souls towards elevating and redeeming and healing Love. This is only possible through conscious expression of all sexuality to recognize the parts of our selves hidden deeply in our past and the past of our parents who simply repeated the oingy-boingy of their own repressed and fearful parents with mistaken ideas of sex being dirty. This is another way of saying that if it feels good to both partners, and both agree, “do it” in mutual acceptance, and take the next step after that. We are all trying to Love, and Love in fact has a dark and very exciting side.
Sex and sexuality are beautiful just like we are. We were not born shameful or dirty or sinful, and anyone that believes that has swallowed the silly religious, guilt laden, anti-pleasure pill that poor mom and dad also swallowed, and how tragic for us all to be manipulated by people with serious sexual problems. We are dominant and we are submissive, and we are elevating and we are degrading, and we can be proud of all that we are. We humans are here to Love and to Fuck, and to express ourselves in joy and pain by loving and fucking, and if we choose, have beautiful babies as a result of our Loving and Fucking. Let us be proud of our bodies and our sex and our sexuality, no less than any kitty or doggy or bunny, and let our children grow up to be proud of their bodies and their sex and their sexuality. We are Love, and sex is Love.
See you tomorrow.
yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com
