Day 118 - Ugh To The Ages Of Sages

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 118 April 27, 2012

Ugh To The Ages Of Sages!

Today was one of those maintenance days for me of just running around doing the things I needed to do to maintain my life of running around doing the things I need to do to maintain my life . . . . ugh!  I would like to boast that I was one with the moment the whole day since I am a life muse for people that run around missing life doing the things that they need to do to maintain their lives of running around doing the things they need to do  . . . and then say ugh, and then hire me to help.  Who is going to help me?  I hate errands and I hate stop lights more and I hate traffic even double more and I extra, extra hate Miss Mun Dane behind the counter that is so slow and Mr. Bo Ring employee in the aisle that doesn’t know where anything is.  Someone gag me with a big, dull spoon so I can feel something that isn’t just appropriate, anxious stewing in a pressure cooker.  Uber ugh!

In truth I am so grateful for all the people out there in chop wood and carry water land, all keeping our lives somewhat glued together and sorta functional.  Thank you.  But could I just offer one little thing after this long errand day? Can you just get out of my f-ing way and shift at least into second gear just for me? How about 2.5 miles an hour past the speed limit?  I promise I won’t call the feared SS patrol on you. Can you be the best at what you do and know everything just for me?  You see I am special, and I deserve all the expedient and competent attention you can spare, and I only expect you to spare all of it, and did I mention NOW, NOW, NOW!  (ugh). Ok fancy pants or fancy robed Buddha, I was indeed one with the shitty moment most of the day, and now we can sit down and meditate, and when you close your eyes I’m going to sneak over and strangle you just for a bit to ease the tension of my day.  I’m absolutely sure that age old sages and gurus never had Walmart Supercenters or their super-duper staff to help them, let alone rush hour traffic to the Bodhi tree.

I am so proud of myself in the last many months at my progress towards enlightenment, but today I slipped back most of the way just seething revenge at bully truck drivers, and quietly yelling many “fucks” at the not so innocent people hindering my progress all day. What ever happened to Yes and Easy and No Problem?  Why did all the problems of the world fall only on me and only today, and all at the same time? If there is a God, then I was not singled out as a chosen one today, except to offer him or her sick humor at nicely foiling all my hopes and plans.  If there isn’t a god, then I proved Darwin absolutely correct at demonstrating the survival of our species as the most adapted maniac this side of Kilimanjaro.  If it weren’t for my cold beer at the end of the day and the laughter of my kids listening to my harrowing day, I might have actually had a bad day.

In truth there never has been anyone on our planet anywhere near true peace or enlightenment, and especially not several thousand years ago. All of our great philosophers and prophets and supposed sons of gods or speakers of the word of god were merely men and (clever and ironic huh, that they are never women, the smartest of us all) just ordinary dudes chopping wood and carrying water, and running around doing the things they needed to do, just like us.  What then makes them so special as to be able to speak to us through the ages as sages?  The truth is they were really, really intelligent, really, really observant, really, really practiced, and really, really progressive. These smart people lived and suffered, and these people paid attention and progressed, and then repeated really living and paying attention and progressing.  Rather than progressing in distance or height or achievements or money or power, these people progressed in ideas of the life, and of love, ideas of the heart, and ideas of absolute presence to the end of the absence of ideas. 

In truth these very evolved but ordinary, legendary icons were just very evolved but ordinary people, and only sages and prophets for reminding us what we already all know, what we were born with, and what we all desire to return to. These clever dudes were clever dudes that bought up the whole board in monopoly before us, went to jail before us, went broke before us, passed Go before us, and repeated it all again while we were still getting up for breakfast and hurling frustrations at everyone else for our shortcomings.  Sadly, and obvious to the sentient human heart and trained ear and eye, these ordinary prophets and sages and invented sons of invented gods were only men, while their wives and mothers had all the real wisdom. All male sages know very well that they kneel before the truth and enlightenment found at the bosom of the feminine, and that real power and oneness in Life is measured by the time and distance from the ovaries to the emergence out into life through Her vulva. And all men, from the most backwards to the most enlightened, carries with him the joy and pain within Her, and the joy and pain from within Her to a life joy and pain where we men cannot live without Her, and everything in between in reference to Her.

I am in great pain and grieving daily to recover the Love and Peace and enlightenment that I had but lost in my journey from embryo to almost 50 year old man, and I possess far less pain than any man experienced and carried thousands of years ago.  Our spiritual leaders of old simply traveled further spiritually in one lifetime than ever before in history, from abject poverty and cruelty and hatred towards Love and towards Peace and towards Oneness in one lifetime. But these men never got there fully, and these men were by no means trauma free or deprivation free or need free, or anywhere near enlightened.  None of the prophets or sages spoke truly or really about Her, and they were therefore in deep pain from Her, and totally mistaken about their teachings and preachings. If there ever was a time for sages and prophets and heroes of religion and spirituality, it is now, and it will always be tomorrow, for the ancients were and are the primitives of old.  We are in the age of the feminine, the true age, and we are now the sages and prophets and sons and daughters of God, to the level of the emancipation from the tyranny of invented belief systems like God.  We are of Her.

Life is good everybody, despite all our frustrations and negative feelings and days we may have, and sadly not all citizens of Earth have the luxury to say or feel that. Let’s please all do something about that. But happiness is coming for all, or nuclear evaporation, whichever comes first. Day by day we put our foot forward and our bodies and hearts follow, one day at a time, day after day.  Little by little it is our hearts that are leading, and our clumsy feet and minds and bodies correctly obey our true Godliness and our true enlightenment, our beautifully simple, loving hearts. Today I lived out the pain still in my heart from so many sad and bad days as an innocent child at the hands of my parents and yours and our world, but I am far healthier on my worst day than any sage, prophet or supposed son of supposed god could have felt thousands of years ago. Just imagine a soul that can begin in our age of miracle children, and travel spiritually inward through suffering and overcoming issues of the heart and going the distance that the ancient prophets traveled. They and we will go far beyond anything we could ever imagine, and it is happening right before our eyes.  As corny as it sounds it is happening right in the aisles of Walmart Supercenters and every other place.

I would like to repeat that I am deeply grateful to all the people out there doing their best under difficult circumstances in chop wood and carry water land.  Thank you. I am embarrassed and humbled by my own angry folly again, and happy to regain one small step of enlightenment by humbly grieving the pain that I caused others to feel today.  I don’t get to pass Go today, while Miss Mun Dane and  Mr. Bo Ring, my actual heroes, go whizzing right by.  I salute them, and all you prophets and sages, or at least anyone who had a mother.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 117 - The Birth Of Peace - Part 2

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 117 April 26, 2012

The Birth Of Peace

Part 2

The idea of Peace for us all is only an idea, for we are incapable of feeling Peace and living Peace, when we do not hold Peace within us as our natural state. In order to feel Peace within us we must feel our original Love before we split into effectively two people, our conscious and our unconscious selves. Our conscious mind is the self that we are aware of and the self that is conscious of our value of and desire for Peace as an idea.  Our unconscious mind is our mind that maintains our fall from original Peace and our loss of original Peace in repressed trauma and denial of deprivation, and blocked unfulfilled needs.  Without knowledge of our true and whole selves, we obviously do not have knowledge of our true and whole selves, and our true and whole selves must contain all that we are in pain about, all that we have had to forget or deny, and all that we wish to bring home and heal, or we can never feel Peace. Without our whole selves we can never be at Peace, and our lives and society and world can never be at Peace. 

For those angels that are coming into our world in perfect, potential Peace, our fetuses and newborns, their very Love and Peace, and the very Love and Peace of our world, is in the hands of Mommy and Daddy. The Mommies and Daddies of the world hold the key to family and global Peace in their hands and lives, if they can understand the needs and fragility of their fetuses and newborns, and if they can express Love to them instead of hate, if they can show them Peace instead of terror. As clearly expressed in part 1 of this essay, any mother or father that births in a medical or hospital environment imprints hate and terror onto and into their innocent newborns, and therefore passes on the legacy of hate and terror into our world.  A medical or hospital birth is an “intervention” birth where mother and child are sadistically “managed” by supposed professionals, who are in fact victims themselves of catatonic birth trauma, the root to societal suffering from failure to thrive right up to genocide.

Once baby leaves the hospital in virtual lifelong catatonic shock, once baby imprints on Mommy and Daddy that trusted “society” to get baby out rather than trust their own hearts of Love and Peace to birth safely at home, where Love and conception occurred in romance, baby is only potentially a being of Peace, having lost true balance and harmony with Love. In actuality baby has joined the family of ragers and haters and warrers, always mistrusting “other” and blaming “other”, the supposed culprits of the lack of Love and Peace in the world.  In truth, it is Mommy and Daddy who are the culprits of the lack of Love and Peace in the world, and they too were the victims of their own parents and the society of their parents that surrendered their trust in their own Love and Peace to “caregivers” who did not care for them, but instead savagely traumatized them.

Once home, baby must live a life of generous and kind Love, and baby must live a life of Peace, if baby is ever going to compare and contrast the original birth terror in order to effect healing, and return to Love and Peace. Baby must remain naked and body to body to Mommy and Daddy, for the affectionate warmth of the human body, and the intermittent and always available gazes into the soul of the eyes of Mommy and Daddy are healing and redeeming.  Baby must remain in the bed of Mommy and Daddy, baby must be fed whenever she is hungry, baby must be patiently and lovingly welcomed to cry whenever he needs to. Babies’ needs must always be met with the kindness of Love, and the Peace that will become babies’ life must originate in constant union with Mommy and Daddy, from birth right up through childhood.

Babies that are always shoed and clothed and left to be alone and sleep alone are effectively sent off to die in war, for infant separation of any kind is infant battle and death.  Any child that is put in a “crib” is sent to a lifelong prison death behind bars, without concept or knowledge what their crime is, and the crushing of the human heart in such sadistic and heartless acts further degrades the spirit of the child to ever remember their innate state of Peace.  Any child or baby that is coerced or convinced or forced to do anything except Love and remain in harmonious Peace is a victim of the cruel human parental boot camp that leads eventually to the obedience to death and dying in war as a final expression of infant torture and soul murder.

For those of us who feel that we are at Peace within ourselves, or that we are living in Peace on our world, in actuality we are in “control”, or in “correct” behavior due to the powers of our unconscious to hide our pain, and due to the efforts of societal and religious ideals and constraints to help us control our pain.  Real Peace can never be an “action” or “negotiation”, or “agreement”, for Peace exists in our potential primordial nature simply as an absence of pain and unhappiness, not as an ideal or methodry of response once we have lost our Love and Peace.  Peace cannot reign on Earth, for true Peace is the absence of reigning, the absence of control, and the absence of hierarchy and obedience.

We are true Peace, and we are true Love, and when we are loved as our true selves in peaceful harmony, we simply Love and Live, and it is naturally peaceful.  For those of us who suffer daily with pain and deprivation and unfulfilled needs, (each and every one of us), our hope is not to focus on the “other”, not on Iraq or Sudan, not on the Blacks or Whites or Browns or Yellows, not on the rich or the poor, our first focus must be on ourselves and our own healing. We all need to feel and heal the hatred in our lives, the unhappy Love, right back to the culprits, our parents and their society that failed us. We must all focus on the loving and peaceful miracles that are coming to us, our fetuses and newborns, and we absolutely must focus on their gentle and loving and peaceful births, and their gentle and loving and peaceful lives in our beds, against our warm and naked bodies, and gazing into our loving eyes as best as we can do.

We are Peace and Love, all we have to do is come home to our peaceful and loving child hearts still alive and well and longing for attention deep within us.  Our hearts are the hearts of Bambi in the pristine forest, and our hearts are of amputee, orphan children lying in blood in Afghanistan.  Our hearts are of wonderful family picnics together and our hearts are of pregnant mothers dying in the sands in far off wars. Our hearts are simply in deep pain, and we must mentor our children to carry tissues for tears rather than automatic weapons.  It is never too late, and it is never too soon to come back home to our loving and peaceful selves, which are the very selves of every other in our world, every other human, every other tree, every other bug.  Peace “is” if we care enough to come back home to our Love.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 116 - The Birth Of Peace - Part 1

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 116 April 25, 2012

The Birth Of Peace

Part 1

We all desire Peace. We desire Peace in our hearts and homes, and we desire Peace in our countries and peace on Earth. Peace is the natural state from which we come, for Peace is the natural existent state of Love that is in harmony.  Peace is the beautiful state of Love that is happy, Love that is balanced, and Love that is kind.  When Love is unfulfilled, when Love is non-centered, and when Love is no longer loving, Peace is lost. If Love is the noun of all existence, and non-existence, the “isness” of all Life and non-Life, then Peace is the blissful harmony of Love as a state of being.  Peace is the happy and balanced and kind state of Love’s action or non-action.

Peace is impossible in our hearts and homes, and in our countries, and on Earth, when Love is not in our hearts and homes. Love and Peace do not just go hand in hand, for Love is the body, and Peace is both hands of Love in harmony. Love “is”, while Peace is the manifestation of that “isness” when in harmonious balance.  When there is no Peace, there is an imbalance of nature and a loss of our potential state of absolute Love.  Peace is not just the state of Love in our lives and hearts, Peace is the manifestation of the history of Love in our hearts, in our families, and in our societies. 

We are Love no matter what we do or express, for Love encompasses all things, including angry Love, also commonly described as hate.  The lack of Peace in our world is the example of how Love is unhappy, and this unhappiness is lived and shared by all world citizens, right down to the state of unhappiness in each of our hearts. Our own state of Love and Peace relates to our own personal lives and how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about each other.  How we “feel” about each other is how we feel about Peace, and our lack of Peace reflects our lack of Love for ourselves and for each other.

In the psychic state of Love there is no distance between our brother and sister humans, or even our brother and sister spider or squirrel.  We “are” and they “are” and all others “are” in the here and now, and in the past and future. In the harmony of all life there is no difference between Life and Life, between Life and non-Life, and or ever between “us” and “them”.  The inequalities and differences of Zimbabwe or Bangladesh or any place are our own, and the flourishing life in the canopy of the rain forest shares equal Love space and time with the decay on the forest floor, and with us.  When we are at Peace we “are” in acceptance and value and worth as all “others”, and all non-others, and we feel this to the core of our existence, manifested by the universal spiritual sentience of the human heart.

When the human heart is damaged, we are damaged, and Peace is damaged, and our families and societies and countries and Earth are all damaged.  When the human heart is traumatized and longing for Love there can and will be no Peace in our hearts or in our lives or in our world, but instead only a traumatized life for all, all longing for Love, and all longing for Peace as a result of all having wounded hearts.  We shall all feel Peace, and we shall all live Peace when we all feel Peace in our hearts, and to feel Peace we must be free of psychological and emotional trauma. To feel Peace we must be free from the psychological and emotional deprivation of Love, and the unfulfilled basic needs of the human heart.

The basic needs of the human heart are to be unconditionally loved, to be accepted and welcomed and approved of and seen for who we are uniquely.  The basic needs of the human heart are to be treated with kindness and compassion and empathy, and to receive constant psychological and emotional and physical affection and care. The basic need of the human heart is to experience Peace and balance and harmony and joy as newborns and children, and to live our lives happily in appreciation and receive respect and gratitude. A human being who experiences a life of Love from uterine life right through to adulthood is a peaceful human being, and a person who lives and shares a life of Peace.

Peace begins in the womb for all, and the last 3 months in utero are the most significant times of our Lives, overshadowing any and every other time. Next comes the journey from our aquatic, psychic, uterine bliss to our experiential world through the birth canal, and birth becomes the engraving and prototype for the world that we live in.  Our world of strife and suffering, of hatred and war, of sadness and disillusionment, is the world of all of our births. The death of Peace, and the sad and constant dying of us all in unhappiness, is and was imprinted and prototyped during our births, during our terrifying passage from our mothers out into our terrifying world.  But birth is not meant to be terrifying. Modern medical and hospital birthing practices are sadistic and cruel, and this as our first experience dishonors us and our Love and Peace, and it dishonors our chances of a loving and peaceful life and world. 

Modern medical and hospital birthing practices are not unconditionally loving of newborns, not accepting or welcoming or approving of newborns, not kind or compassionate or empathetic of newborns, not psychologically or emotionally or physically affectionate with newborns, and not peaceful or balanced or harmonious or joyful for newborns.  Modern medical and hospital birthing practices are the progenitors of society wide anger, rage, hatred, depression, suicide, murder, and on global level genocide, war, and universal sadness and suffering.  

After near death experiences in modern medical and hospital births, where effective our mothers and fathers and worlds have catastrophically let us down, there is  not much Love or Peace left in our hearts, but only deep, virtually catatonic trauma, crushing psychological deprivation, and the prototype of a life of unfulfilled needs.  When we are in utero we inherit the very life being of our mothers and fathers, both genetically and experientially, and during and immediately after our births we “download” our world around us and the lack of Love and lack of Peace that will be our lives.  We are and we become our world around us, and our world around us suffered the same terrible disillusionments during their own emergence into life, and during their lives in our world.  Peace for us as newborns remains only a beautiful idea as a result of ideal Love, something that we do not experience, but something that we long for our entire lives. 

To be continued tomorrow in part 2

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 115 - Patience And Love Please Mommy And Daddy

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 115 April 24, 2012

Patience And Love Please Mommy And Daddy

This morning I was really trying to enjoy my favorite weak coffee and my delicious vegetarian eggs benedict at a roadside café, when I was interrupted by a young couple who were taking turns abusing their little 4 year old son “Brandon”.  I really felt sorry for adorable Brandon at the hand of these two ogre parents.  The scene immediately caused me to remember how many times you and I have been victims of our own ogre parents, and how many times we have been ogres with our own innocent little children. Yes, I know you saw me those times that I acted like a damn fool with my kids, and yes, I was there too when you did those things you regret with your children.  The truth is that we are all in a lot of pain from what happened to us as children at the hands of our parents and caregivers, and it is true that we end up letting our pain out on our own powerless and helpless children, exactly like everything was let out on us.  The truth is there is no excuse for how we were treated as children, and no excuse for how we treat our own children. The truth is that we all should be ashamed of ourselves, and we must stop immediately our abusive treatment, both overt and silent, and both subversive and degrading, of our beautiful little innocent children that love us so much.

“Brandon, what is wrong with you?  Why can’t you sit still”?  And then the Dad glared at him in the eyes like a laser beam glares at the steel which it is melting.

Never, never glare at your children in the eyes with anger, or rage, or hatred, or any other strong, negative emotion, for any reason. The eyes are the window into the soul, and meanness driven into the soul of your child through the eyes deeply wounds your children and breaks their hearts.  This Dad was obviously deeply abused when he was a little boy in the same way, and this Dad passes his own pain onto his own sweet little boy, like it was passed on to him when he was a sweet little boy, and this is devastating.  This Dad is effectively a coward, for he would not look at a full grown unlimited cage fighter in the eyes the same way unless he wants one of his arms broken. He only does it to a helpless, defenseless 4 year old boy because he can get away with it,  and sadly he does it to his own little child that deeply loves him unconditionally.  Never, never glare at your children in the eyes!

Of course children can’t sit still, this is an inherent beauty of childhood, and it is wonderful and it never needs to be addressed. When energetic and passionate young children are left to be children for 20 years with total love and support, they will eventually become calm and graceful adults, with lots of patience to respect and admire the spirit of their own future children.  Mom and Dad should have taken little Brandon outside to run and play and laugh while the meal was on its way, and Mom and Dad should have made Brandon and his immaturities and needs paramount over their own, with gentility and love, or they should have never had a child.  Have patience with your children for 20 years or so, and let them be children for 20 years or so, for they and childhood are beautiful and wonderful.

Never, never say “what is wrong with you” to any person, let alone a child, and especially your own child.  The only person that has something wrong with them is the person that says “what is wrong with you” to another person. The statement is arrogant, and demeaning, and suggests that there is something “wrong” with your child.  There is nothing wrong with your child, for your child is an angel of Love doing his or her best simply to grow up with a real messed up parent, yes you and me, and they need all the respect and kindness we can muster. Everyone makes mistakes, and childhood is in fact a 20 year adventure of making mistakes, and all mistakes are welcome all the time for children, for it is part of simply living and learning and growing up for a child.  Any person that tries to make another person  feel bad or less or at fault, let alone a child,  with a statement like “what is wrong with you” is a coward and an ogre.  This kind of parenting injures, and creates anger and shame and rebellion in children, just like it caused in us when our own idiot parents acted so poorly  I dare Dad to say that same phrase to the cage fighter again, and now he will have two broken arms instead of just one.  Never, never make statements like this to any person, especially your own child. 

“Brandon, how many times have I told you not to crumble up your crackers and throw them!  Now you aren’t going to get your hotdog!”  And them Mom looked at her little 4 year old boy, and she shook her head from side to side, and rolled her eyes.

Never, never insult or mock or patronize another person with head shaking and eye rolling, or any other negative body language, especially your own child. This behavior is immature and cruel, and when a woman does this to any child she injures them.  This Moms was obviously deeply abused when she was a little girl in the same way, and this Mom passes her own pain onto her own sweet little boy, like it was passed on to her when she was a sweet little girl, and this is devastating.for her child and she breaks his heart.  When a mother does this to her own son she teaches him anger and rage at the female, and she is the creator of a future misogynist. This Mom is a coward, for she would have never treated her husband like this on their first date, or any man ever, if she didn’t want a black and blue eye, or worse. Never, never insult and degrade a person with arrogant and demeaning statements like “how many times have I told you” to any adult unless you want another black and blue eye or worse, and never, never to a child or to your own innocent angels that are in truth trying so hard, just like you were when you were abused by your parents.

Of course Brandon plays with his food and makes messes, that is what childhood is all about, and it is priceless and beautiful.  Brandon is only 4 years old!  This issue does not need to be addressed, for if left to be a happy and demonstrative child, happily for 20 years, eventually he will become a graceful and mannered adult.  If Brandon is acting out against Mommy and Daddy, it is because Mommy and Daddy are being  unfair or abusive with Brandon, and they deserve it.  There is no such thing as a bad child, only bad parents, and so Mom and Dad need to have 20 years of loving patience with their son who loves them unconditionally, while they examine their own parental ogredom at treating a 4 year old so badly.

Never, never use food as a weapon for punishment with any person, and especially a child. Food is a sacred need and necessity, and using food or lack of food as discipline is sadistic. Afterwards Mom and Dad forgot their disgraceful threats and a whole new round of underhanded insults and abuses followed with trying to get Brandon to eat his hotdog, and trying to get Brandon to clean up his mess, and trying to get Brandon to not scream out loud and sing and basically embarrass them in the café, behaviors that would fill 10 more pages of this essay.

It is clearly not these poor young parents’ faults that they are hideous people and hideous parents, for both of their own parents on both sides were or are hideous ogres to have raised people that could be that heartless and abusive to any person, let alone their own 4 year old, and in front of a full café no less, without even noticing their cruelties.  I noticed that few people made any notice of the tragic scene, and of the hateful crushing of poor little Brandon. Imagine a world filled with you and me that survived thousands of these scenes from our sick parents and society, and imagine a world where we treat our children this way, to one degree or another, every single day.  We are all victims of wounded cowards that mistreat the weak and helpless, and we have become wounded cowards who mistreat the weak and helpless.  Imagine a world where there are millions of full grown  6’ tall 200 lbs with Brandons with muscles, who are ragefully hateful without knowing why, and going off to war to kill without knowing why.  I think you get the idea.  Patience and Love please Mommy and Dadddy.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 114 - What Happened To Me?

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 114 April 23, 2012

What Happened To Me?

When we were conceived, we were in potentiality “perfect”, enlightened, and omniscient.  As we cell divided and developed onto fetuses, we progressed in “nurture” inside of our Mommies, and we “fell from grace”, and or evolved into imperfection and de-lightenment.  Around the end of the second trimester of womb life we were more or less fully formed and anatomically complete, and we became “conscious” of our own existence, and of the watery “world” around us inside our mothers. If we could have been gestated ideally in every way, and birthed ideally in every way, and if we could have been “imprinted” and cared for ideally in every way, we would now still have one and only one complete and unified “consciousness”.  Instead, our womb life was far from ideal, our births were horrific and death defying in hospitals, and our imprints by our less than healthy and happy pair of parents were tragic and disappointing to say the least. Our early childhoods may or may not have appeared ideal on the outside, but emotionally and psychologically, as compared to our original perfect and enlightened and states at conception, it was a catastrophe. As a result of the horrors of our womb life and birth and early childhoods, like every human being on the planet without exception, we “split” into effectively two parts, two selves, and two brains, and two different consciousnesses.  Either in the womb, or during birth, or shortly thereafter, we“tore”.  I tore into Roe the conscious and Roe the unconscious.

Today I am effectively two people, I am Roe the guy that you and I see if we look at me in me in the mirror, and I am Roe the hidden and repressed, and protected, the unconscious Roe behind the curtain in my mind, and you are no different.  In truth, there was only 100% of Roe originally, and when I split into two parts, when I tore, I tore along a line dependent upon the horrors and threats upon me as a fetus and baby and child, just like you did.  The amount of unconscious “me” available to the conscious “me” depends upon my level of suffering and survival when I was in the womb, during my birth, and during the first few hours and days once I was out of Mommy, just like it does with you.  There is an urban legend and complete fallacy that we only use 10% of our minds, but the truth is that we use 100% of our minds all the time. The fact is we are only aware consciously of 1% to maybe 10% of what our minds are really doing, and or what our minds are actually capable of. Our true and original enlightenment and omniscient capability is alive and well inside us, but when we “tore” and “split” into the conscious-aware and unconscious-forgotten parts, in effect we lost our unity, our wholeness, and our potentiality. I’ll call conscious and aware Roe that is writing this Roe 3 ½, and the rest of my, my Roe unconscious and defended, is Roe 86 ½, since the vast majority of me, and you, and all of us is repressed and unconscious.

What caused the conscious/unconscious rift or division in our minds is simply catastrophic primal, emotional, psychological trauma and deprivation, and basic unfulfilled primal needs when we were fetuses and babies and children. My split into Roe awake and my other Roe that I can’t remember or speak to was caused by terrible threats upon my very existence and survival, and the same happened to you. This means that in truth our unconscious minds are a protective mechanism where anything we should or cannot know, is simply torn from us, and then hidden from us, by our very selves.  When this happened we weren’t even born yet, or it happened during our births, or right after birth in the first few seconds or minutes of Life, where our disappointment at not being properly cared for or loved would have taken our very lives had we been able to bring it into conscious knowing.  This is the truth for all of us, for to be fully conscious with no division, we would have to have had fully conscious and enlightened parents, and we would have to have been gestated and birthed and cared for ideally, both compassionately and lovingly.  The truth is that my parents and everyone’s parents are very sick people in comparison to their own original perfect conception states, and the way that babies are gestated in our world is far less than ideal.  Modern hospital birth practices and early childhood imprint and care practices are at best sadistic and cruel, and these practices cause all of us to suffer severe partial psychological catatonia, and amnesia, and extreme repression simply to survive.

            Once we are torn and divided from our whole selves, we immediately embark on the long road home back to ourselves, and the design of Life is for us to return back through the portal of conception in death, back into blissful infinity, back at our true potential of perfection and enlightenment.  Enlightenment and omniscience is not a spiritual practice or belief system, and you cannot get there by working or wishing or wanting or practicing.  Enlightenment is simply the complete and total reunification of our conscious and unconscious minds.  Enlightenment is simply total and complete healing of the heart and mind, emotionally, psychologically, and psychically.  When I am using 100% of my mind and heart again, with one single Roe called Roe 100%, I will effectively be enlightened and omniscient.  The road back home to one true self, one true enlightened being, while still alive and breathing on this planet, has never been accomplished in history by any person, including and especially any prophet, including Jesus and Buddha and Mohammed or any other. The idea is a potentiality, and the true fulfillment of the potentiality is in effect total alignment with blissful infinity, also known as death.

            Happiness in my Life, and spirituality in my life, and the road to enlightenment in my life, is about healing pain, and it is the same for you.  I must recover what I lost through the fall of my faulty nurture at the hands of my parents and my world, and I lost the major piece of my actual self, I lost Roe 86 ½, and he is still right there inside of me. The question I must ask myself is “what happened to me”, and “why am I so defended and amnesiatic and repressed and catatonically divided”?  As I begin my healing, my road home to my potential perfection, as I inquire into the past and as I shift myself towards healing, terrifying and seemingly life threatening pain begins to surface from Roe 86 ½ to my conscious 3 ½ me.

When pain surfaces I must embrace my innate healing mechanism, which is grieving,  to repair my hear t and psyche, and that is through feeling the pain and repressed emotions that Roe 86 ½  has been protecting me from. I must cry and scream and mourn and grieve for my long lost self.  It is clear that when I was a fetus and newborn and small child, conscious knowledge of these traumas and deprivations and unfulfilled needs would have actually physically killed me.  As an adult the healing process of my heart and mind is to recognize that the event is long past and over, and the actual threat from my early life is no longer life threatening.  I must develop the courage to face the unfaceable, and I must care enough to retrieve the lost “me”.

When I recover all of me, when I am once again the one and only Roe 100%, I have come home to myself and my true potential perfection.  I probably won’t ever complete the whole journey in this lifetime, but I plan on giving it my best shot.  May you all give it your own best shot at facing and grieving what happened to you and recovering your whole selves too.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

            

Day 113 - World Travel: A True Education - Part 3

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 113 April 22, 2012

World Travel: A True Education

Part 3

When we travel the world we are constantly confronted with the primary human ideas and paradigms, and the primary human emotions and the primary academic disciplines.   All people possess levels of neurosis, of mental and emotional trauma and  deprivation, of unfulfilled needs, of ignorance, of the results of womb and birth and child abuse, and of the lack of education and basic acculturation.  All people possess levels of hatred, of class division, of educational ignorance and division, and of the lack of  basic morality (personal), basic ethics (communal), and basic manners and societally acceptable behavior. All people possess levels of brainwashing and ignorant ideas of power and obedience, of patriotism and nationalism, of acceptance and obedience to the God-President-Governor- Policeman-Daddy chain, and of fear and loathing of the “other”. All people possess levels of selfishness and self-centeredness ad egocentricity and human-centric behavior and ideology.  All people possess levels of a religious and spiritual bias or vacuum, or religious and spiritual brainwashing, and all people live with levels of pride and arrogance and hostility towards Life in general, mostly manifested against the “other” that we feel is different and to blame.

A formal university education hopes to address the various levels of human pain and ignorance and psychological and emotional and experiential ignorance and sickness outlined above, but in fact the traditional, hierarchical, rote, “regurgitate”, classical education model in practice all over the world today maintains and even bolsters these sicknesses and issues of students, and by extension the problems of the world.  The world higher educational model has been in practice for many hundreds of years, and our problems of world hunger, world peace, war, genocide, and divisions of race, sex, and class persist and are maintained. The current educational model in place all over the world simply does not work, for it dishonors the whole person, and if it seeks to address even the partial person, it does this within a model of hierarchical repetition of the abuse of power.

By the time “children” reach college, they are still children, never having been trusted or left to their own innate personalities and interests and needs and expressions, and never having been left to regulate and be responsible for their own lives. Children are guided right up until college by parents and teachers and mentors, all of questionable motives and needs with their misuses of power and expectation, and all with selfish investment in the outcomes of these impressionable young people.  One or two years of pre-school and then a year of kindergarten, and then 12 years of “schooling”, all virtually useless for a young person who is being forced and expected.  A passionate and self-motivated and self-regulated 20 year old can learn twice as much in 2 years than what was forced down the throats of children in 15 years of “state” (and the parents are an extension of the state) brainwashing.

Veteran world travelers are changed people.  If all people possess levels of neurosis, of mental and emotional trauma and deprivation, of unfulfilled needs, of ignorance, of the results of womb and birth and child abuse, and of the lack of education and basic acculturation, veteran world travelers possess far less. Traveling the world is a healing experience.  All people possess levels of hatred, of class division, of educational ignorance and division, and of the lack of basic morality (personal), basic ethics (communal), and basic manners and societally acceptable behavior, but veteran world travelers possess far less, for traveling the world levels the playing field, and we learn to understand ourselves through others, and we automatically embrace compassion and empathy for all others.  All people possess levels of brainwashing and ignorant ideas of power and obedience, of patriotism and nationalism, of acceptance and obedience to the God-President-Governor-Policeman-Daddy chain, and of fear and loathing of the “other”, but veteran travelers possess far less, for exposure to others opens our minds and our hearts, and facilitates that we learn to think for ourselves, and act against the misuse of power and information.  All people possess levels of selfishness and self-centeredness ad egocentricity and human-centric behavior and ideology, but world travelers possess far less, for living as a world citizen in the world itself give us a broader experience of self and Life, a shared life with others and nature.  All people possess levels of a religious and spiritual bias or vacuum, or religious and spiritual brainwashing, and all people live with levels of pride and arrogance and hostility towards Life in general, mostly manifested against the “other” that we feel is different and to blame, but world travelers possess far less, for in the world we immediately learn that there is no other, only other people like us with distinct lives and belief systems. Traveling the world creates a world class person simply by being in the whole world.

I propose that children be left to be free to be themselves and have a childhood full of boredom and adventure and personal passions.  I propose that children be left to be children, and that children be left to have beautiful and wonderful childhoods full of play and rebellion and asking questions.  I propose a childhood free from any chores or any homework, or any expectations at all, except for not infringing on the freedom of others.  I imagine a childhood where the parents are on the side of the child completely, with interest by the parents only in wishing that their children remain alive, and healthy, and HAPPY, and nothing else.  Children already know who they are and that they want when they are still in the womb, all we have to do is be on their side with Love and support, and they will find their own way.  All we have to do is make the world open and available to them, and they will become the world.

When children come of age, I recommend 5 to 10 years of traveling around the world, working in each country for 3 to 6 months, which will give 10 to 40 life changing “adventures” to truly educate the new “person of the world”. When the person is truly and finally self-educated, beyond the brainwashing of the mainstream, status-quo paradigm, they can always attend an institute of higher learning to specialize and learn a “career” to “be somebody”, or get that diploma to earn that money or status.  If practiced on a global basis, I believe that this world traveling education model would be the eventual end to hate, to racism, to sexism, to class and educational division, and maybe even the end to world hunger and war.  It is clear that our global “system”, including and especially our faulty educational model, is an incubator and breeding ground for repeating what we are living, and we are living in an uncertain and scary time indeed, and no one can deny that.  No veteran world traveler remains hateful, racist, sexist, or entrenched in class division, and no veteran world traveler has remains idle regarding starvation, or becomes involved in war, unless this world traveler is traveling with all 5 senses effectively shut down.

We must look to the future for saving ourselves and our planet, and the future is our children.  Our children must look to the world for their answers, and the world is right at their and our doorstep.  There truly is no “other”, and there truly is no difference in any of us, except that the person next to you, who is so humble and forgiving, so understanding and giving, so successful and happy, is a person of the world for having educated themselves by traveling the world.  Traveling the world is a true education, for it is impossible to get an education without living a life of deep compassion, of universal empathy, and of simple basic Love for all our brothers and sisters and animals and wildlife on this beautiful and scary planet.  I look forward to seeing you and your children on the next plane or train or boat to some far out and far off place. 

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

Day 112 - World Travel: A True Education - Part 2

Musings From The Heart

An Essay A Day For A Year

By Roe

Day 112 April 21, 2012

World Travel: A True Education

Part 2

In ideal academia, a truly educated person should study and embrace and thereby be affected by and ultimately changed regarding issues of physics, biology, ecology, humanity, history, gender, race, class, sexuality, culture, ethnicity, society, politics, economics, spirituality, psychology, emotionality, all the wonderful arts, and overall, issues and aspects of self and family, children, and Love. The only educational institutions in the world that begin to approach this model of self-education and lifelong learning, are institutions which follow the student interactive Socratic seminar model where the learning is student led, and student centered.  No profess-or from the past could ever hope to “educate” or “teach” a person of the present, or the past is passe’ the moment it becomes the past, which is the moment just after we live it.  Professors are meant to be mere guides that facilitate the exposure to learning for students, and who mentor the shift towards lifelong “learning” as opposed to teaching or educating a bunch of useless information, or furthering their own viewpoint, or simply repeating the same, same, same, blah, blah, blah.

A true education is an education of the heart.  Our human hearts are already a direct connection to the omniscience and omnipotence inherent in the universe, and a direct manifestation of God/Goddess, or the actual manifestation of Nature and Evolution, and or a combination of both.  After conception we experience a natural “fall” from Grace or the potentiality of Perfection in Nature, and we become results of experience and nurture.  Our true products as selves are combinations of Nature/Nurture, for we have innate and inherent personalities and identities since conception, while our personalities and identities are greatly affected by our experiences.  An ideal education is an education where our own limited personal experiences are expanded and challenged, and an ideal education is where our own personal paradigm is compared and contrasted with others, and where our own personal lives are interchanged with others.  An ideal education is where our womb life and births and early childhoods, where our youths and families and especially the histories of and with our Mothers and Fathers are shared and compared and contrasted with our peers and the world.  An ideal education is about recovering our omniscient and omnipotent hearts through suffering, and persevering, and healing, with and vis a vis our peers and the world around us.  This is not truly possible when the world around us is limited by a few miles, and within one single society or culture or paradigm.

A true education is an education of the heart, and this requires exposure to and experiences of the heart. No education could ever be considered an education without studying and experiencing, and ultimately applying ideas and experiences of the heart. A proper education, and an education of the heart, requires experiencing all the human emotions, and this requires feeling all the human emotions as they relate our core ideas of physics, biology, ecology, humanity, history, gender, race, class, sexuality, culture, ethnicity, society, politics, economics, spirituality, psychology, all the wonderful arts, and overall, how they relate to aspects of self and family, children, and Love. A real education, and education of the heart, is an education of all the human emotions as they relate to the 40 or more academic disciplines.

The heart is of emotion, and heart and emotion precede thoughts historically and anatomically.  By the time we have a thought about anything, we have already had the emotional experience, whether we are aware of it or not.  Our thoughts are mere actions of our emotions.  Our thoughts adapt to and control our emotions in revelation of them, or suppression of them, or action upon them, and most of our true emotional experience is unconscious due to the response of our conscious, rational mind to hide our emotions from ourselves and others as a result of our negative and unfortunate Life experience that did not honor and value emotionality.

An education of the thoughts and mind, and a rational education of thinking and ideas, is a mere after-experience of self, and a manipulation of and advancement of a partial self, and a partial self that is post emotion, and post true self. An advanced mental education at the hands of a wounded and repressed heart is arrogance, and a very dangerous combination, as opposed to a healthy and loving heart that is expressed through an ignorant mind, which is expressed in humility.

The human emotions are:

Acceptance, Affection, Ambivalence, Apathy, Anxiety, Boredom, Compassion, Confusion, Contempt, Depression, Doubt, Ecstasy, Empathy, Envy, Embarrassment, Euphoria, Forgiveness, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Homesickness, Hunger, Hysteria, Interest, Loneliness, Love, Paranoia, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Remorse, Shame, Suffering, and Sympathy.

A true education of the heart and mind together is an education that is worldly  and world-wide, and world-like, where we feel all the human “emotions”, while embracing all the “ideas” of our existence, through all the academic “disciplines”. The best way to become truly educated is to travel the world indefinitely, and without money, or with money that we earn as we travel the world. When we travel the world without money, and when we earn our subsistence as we travel, we become exposed to everything, we become exposed to all human emotions, especially universal feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness, and we become exposed to all paradigms and belief systems and “ideas” of human existence.  When we travel the world we become one of the local culture, we are exposed in an experiential way, inside the fish tank with the other fish in our world, to virtually all the academic disciplines.

Traveling the world as a traveler, not a tourist, and especially earning our way around the world, requires learning a true education. When we work our way around the world, we learn to overcome fear and insecurity, loneliness and isolation. Traveling the world we must learn to be a self-starter, we automatically learn self-discipline, and we practice turning planning and dreams into reality on an hourly basis. Traveling the world without money we learn to work, we learn to suffer, we learn to overcome, and most importantly we learn to adapt and survive. When we travel the world, a new world with new ideas is faced every hour of every day, and our self becomes a comparison and contrast vis a vis the world around us, and we evolve into a worldly self. We learn to be in constant open mindedness, in constant preparation, and we learn to be content or happy, and self-sufficient, despite the constant change around us.  Traveling the world for an extended time is a true, worldly education. 

To be continued tomorrow in part 3.

See you tomorrow.

www.dear-roe-the-muse.com

yourpersonalmuse@gmx.com

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